Friday, September 30, 2011
I am feeling kind of on Cloud 9 today! I have multitude of emotions...relief, excitement, joy, blessed, and the list goes on. There is just so much that I have to be thankful for, so much that I have that I don't deserve. For once, I am feeling ahead of the game in regards to preparations for Tate's party (still BEHIND the game on running...eeeeeek!). I have truly the best family ever...I mean really, I am so blessed by them! I have incredible friends new and old. And both of those important parties in our life are just so supportive of us and our (what some people think) crazy decisions. I know I talk about it all the time and probably sound like a broken record, but we just couldn't get through these times without this support. Really, thank you all (you know who you are!) for everything you do!
And this weekend should be a ton of fun. We are celebrating Tate's 5th birthday with family tomorrow with a big Kung Fu Panda themed party complete with an amazing cake (pictures to come), sushi, a pinata, pizza, chicken wings, a bounce house, etc. Then, on Sunday I have 2 photoshoots! Yay!
Looking forward to seeing all of the family and seeing the joy on Tate's face at his party. :)
So now we wait...
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
So wish me luck!
I am so proud of him. I was the classroom volunteer yesterday (and am scheduled to be the volunteer about once a week) and so I got to observe how he is. I tried my best to keep my distance and spend my time mostly in different areas or with the other kids, but I still got to see how he acts and interacts with the kids and teachers. He can be quite the stinker at home, but he was so polite and sweet at school! It made me so full of pride! There are some amazing kids in his class...they were mostly all just such good kids! He and Ava really do stick by each other the whole time though. It's pretty cute! They are such wonderful friends to each other. It's so funny though, by the end of each week, they start to bicker like siblings. :) They are practically together as much as siblings since they see each other every day at preschool and then the DeCook's watch Tate once a week in the evenings while we're at PS-MAPP and on top of that, we hang out with DeCooks a lot on the weekends! They love each other so much though.
I still can't believe that Tate's already such a big boy! And in a week from today, he'll be 5!!!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Our hotel is in Times Square...just where we wanted to be, right in the middle of all the action! :)
So it's kind of been a running joke for YEARS with Sean and I that whenever we go out to run a quick errand somewhere and I opt to not put myself together, without fail, we will run into someone Sean knows that I do not and he will introduce me to them. Seriously, every time. It's so embarrassing and likely embarrassing for him too!
So on Sunday morning, we decided to go to breakfast. I looked terrible...hadn't showered, maybe didn't even brush my hair, no makeup, same clothes on from the day before...just not lookin' good at all. We walk into IHOP and first thing, I hear Sean say, "OH HI! How are you?!" I look over and didn't recognize the person at all. Oh great, I get to meet someone new. Ugh. Turns out it was his work supervisor (well, he JUST got a new one, but it was the one before that) who has heard about me from Sean, but had never met me before. Ugh again.
Seriously, it never fails, every single time. I can't go out looking like that anymore. I don't know why it took me so long to learn that, but I think I may have FINALLY learned my lesson...maybe. :) Stacy and Clinton are right...you never know who you will run into so you should always be presentable.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
I love this man!
"It's taken (almost) 7 years of marriage to learn how to work together during the good and the bad. There were times when our reactions to things just made our situations seem worse and our arguments prolonged, but those difficult times have definitely taught us what not to do and what things work to make us a stronger unit. We've learned to pick our battles and most importantly learned that to change things, we need to change OURSELVES. We cannot change each other...especially not by telling the other one that they need to change. I remember a time when I felt that when things were rough, Sean was the one that needed to do all the changing. I was right and he wasn't. Period. And I would tell him that! I would tell him all of the things he needed to change. My how that has changed! Turns out I needed to change just as much as he did...maybe even more! And in learning that my reactions to things will change his actions, our marriage has changed immensely. It's been hard and continues to be and we both have so much more to learn."
We disagree on many things, but enjoy even MORE things together...
We've been through a lot together, from infertility to several moves to career changes to financial struggles to family deaths and much more. We have made it through a lot and know that we will have much much more to go through in this life together. We know that as long as we have each other, we can get through so much.
Let's take a look back to 7 years ago today...
I cannot believe how these little ones have grown!!!
Me and my girls.
From left to right...Jessica, Kay, Cassie, Me, Sara and Brenda...
From left to right...Travis, Eric, Chris, Dale, Mike all holding my groom. :)
Saturday, September 24, 2011
It feels so much like a new chapter in our lives is just beginning. I know I've said that before, but it's crazy how if really feels like that...like we've graduated. :) We've learned SO SO MUCH that we will use in more ways than just parenting our next child/children. We are so grateful for all of the knowledge we've gained in this class. However, we do know that until we are parenting another child, we can't know what challenges may arise. We know that we are stepping into something that we never expected we would, situations that at times we felt we weren't equipped to handle. Nothing will be able to fully prepare us for what we are about to embark upon, but this class certainly has been a great eye opener and provided us with tools that we did not have before.
With all that being said, we are ready for it to be over. :) We have enjoyed it and learned a lot, but we are ready for the next step. These next couple/few months while we wait until we get our license are going to be brutal. We would appreciate prayer. I wish so much that I could be very specific about what your prayers could be for, but I cannot. Please pray for patience for us, for timing to be right, for Tate's adjustment, for all parties involved. Our plans and hopes over these last several weeks have taken a turn that we didn't expect and have led us into waters we had no idea we might be entering, so please pray for our adjustment as well and for strength for us to deal with some difficult times and situations that are likely coming our way. Thank you so much for praying for our family...it really means so much to us!
Friday, September 23, 2011
And this is the gash from hitting his head last night...
Poor thing has been hacking up a lung all day and has yucky eyes and congestion.
And I'm starting to get nervous that he has pink eye...
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Fast forward to tonight...
He was feeling MUCH better and we had PS-MAPP. He no longer had a fever and Sean was still going to stay home from our class to stay with him, but he really wanted to go to DeCook's like he always does on Thursday nights. So we decided to let him. He did fine and was playing and having fun. He was jumping around (like the kids always to there) and fell and hit his head on the stone around their fireplace and gashed it. James said it was "a gusher". It is across his temple. He has a bandaid on it and I haven't even seen the gash yet because he won't let me take the bandaid off. James was worried he might need stitches or the glue. It hasn't bled or bothered him though, so we'll try to take a look tomorrow and decide if we should do anything about it.
Conveniently, he has school pictures on Monday. Ha. Good thing he has long hair and you won't really be able to see the cut anyway! Poor guy...nothing went his way today. :(
A gorgeous bouquet from a dear friend...
I even got a 2nd bouquet of flowers a few hours after receiving this one!
And here is my new, pink iPod.
It was so much fun picking great music to put on it that I can run to!
And if you know me, you know that Sonic Happy Hour just MAKES my day! So my birthday definitely wasn't going to go by without a trip to Sonic!
So many kind messages written in these cards that I received today. Gosh, I am blessed.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
-TONS of great women's clothes in ALL SIZES...very gently used! (pretty much my whole old wardrobe before my weightloss and also lots of my mom and sister's old clothes they are letting me sell for them!)
-Several womens coats and jackets
-Baby and toddler clothes and toys for boys and girls
-LOTS of CD's and DVD's
-Glass top table and 4 chairs
-Lawnmower (needs repair)
In addition to all that, I don't even have the list of items the DeCook's are selling. It should have lots of great stuff. Hopefully the sale is successful and it will be worth the time and preparations!
If you don't know our address, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org for our address and directions if you need them!
Hope to see you there!
So ecxited for a shopping extreganza today! I NEED new winter clothes and today is the day that I plan to get them! You know how when you're not looking for anything or don't have any money to buy anything, you can find tons of stuff and on the days when you want to buy things, you can't find anything you want? Ya, I hate that and am hoping that doesn't happen to me today! Can't wait for my mom to get here so we can go!
Tomorrow is my birthday! I love my birthday. :) Unfortunately, Sean works tomorrow night and so Tate and I will be on our own tomorrow evening. :( However, we did go out to Texas Roadhouse for an early birthday dinner for me last night. It was yummy. :) I remember telling Sean that it was no big deal if he worked on my birthday, and it's NOT a BIG deal, but now that the day is hear...I'm bummed. I am pretty certain I will survive. Ha.
I found a dining table and chairs on Craigslist for $50 that I am in love with the idea of purchasing and refurbishing. I've never refurbished any furniture before though, so if I can talk Sean into letting me purchase it (he's not completely convinced...but that's because he is not good at visualizing how things will look once complete), I may be calling on some friends and/or family for some advice and help. Okay, Leslie? Yup, I'm talking about you! I am (hopefully) selling our glass top table and chairs that I LOATH at our upcoming garage sale (details on that later) and so I have been looking for replacements for a long time!
Wish me luck shopping today!
Monday, September 19, 2011
On another note...I seriously am not sure that I ever remember my allergies being worse than they are right now. Ever. I mean, I could dig my eyes out with a steak knife they itch so bad. And the constant sneezing and congestions is about more than I can take. I am going to the doctor tomorrow for a physical (ugh) and will definitely bring up my severe allergies. I have taken Allegra in the past and it didn't do anything for me. We'll see what he says.
About my physical...I haven't had one in longer than I care to admit. I hate going to the doctor, but have to as part of preparing to adopt again. I am nervous and dreading it...can't wait for it to be over.
Tate's fever came back after he'd been fever free all day. Not sure what that's all about. Anyway, he has to be fever free for at least 24 hours before going to school, so there will be no preschool for him tomorrow. He heard me say that and had a complete meltdown. I love that he loves preschool and feel bad that he can't go tomorrow. :( Poor thing.
I am off to bed...
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Then, we got to watch that rollercoaster of a game that ended with the loudest I have ever heard Kinnick Stadium EVER. Even some of the players, when interviewed, said that it was the loudest they had ever heard that stadium It was so unbelievably exciting...I might have peed my pants a little. Maybe. ;)
After the game, we tailgated for another hour or so and by then, I was SO BEAT! I mean, all that excitement seriously wore me out!
And just to keep it real...I LOVE this man, but he also drives me completely crazy sometimes! Ha. I don't want to fool you all into thinking we have the perfect marriage because we don't. In fact, that's just funny...is there a such thing as a perfect marriage? We bicker and argue more than I'd like to admit, but we also have so much fun together and laugh a lot! I think laughing together is so so important. He works incredibly hard to support our family and I am so grateful for him. We are in a good place right now. You know how there are just times/seasons of a marriage when things just "work" and then there are times when everything seems to be going wrong? You know, like when it doesn't matter what your spouse does, it's going to drive you nuts. We have those seasons, but right now we're good. We are enjoying each other so much and just on the same page. I love these seasons! I love these times that we are united in our paths and where we are envisioning we are heading as a family.
And he is an amazing Daddy and is going to be an amazing Daddy to another child(ren) in our near future. I can't wait to grow our family with him and pray that we can remain in our "good place" even though the path we are taking to grow our family is going to be challenging and new to us. I pray we stay united in our vision through all that is to come.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tate had a ridiculously bad day today. Yikes, it was ugly. And my parenting was not top notch. I yelled at him more than once today, had no patience for his constant whining and tantrums. It was like he had no care in the world what I asked of him...he would look me right in the eye and tell me "no" and then go about doing whatever it was I had asked him to stop. He has also started hitting Sean when he's mad it him...I'm talking smacking him straight on the bald head. In true "Mother of the Year" fashion, I laughed the first time he did it. I am sorry, it was just funny hearing the slap sound right on the top of Sean's head. Ya, that wasn't a good idea to laugh at that. Parenting fail 483 for the week.
My running. I blogged about how wonderful and easy it was that first day that I picked it back up again. Ya, that feeling went away after about 3 blocks of running today. Today was Day 3 of being back to a running routine. I am sore, I didn't want to go this morning, I was praying the entire time that I could make it without stopping. It was miserable. I have a love/hate relationship with running. I only blog that I love it...I know. Mostly I do...every moment that I am NOT running, I love it. Of the half hour that I am actually doing it, for about 25 minutes of it I am HATING it. When that half hour increases to 45 minutes, I am anticipating hating it for 35 of those minutes. Just so we're clear, the SECOND I am done, I feel fantastic and am so happy I did it...and soooo happy it's over! Since at least 23 hours out of the day, I love running, I am still going to say I love it...because I do. Right?
Yes, we are excited to adopt another child. Soooo excited. However, I haven't blogged in depth about how soooo scared and nervous we are too. This adoption will be very different from adopting a healthy infant and getting him straight from the hospital. We are entering a world that is so new to us that no class will be able to teach us what to do in all situations. Sometimes I fear that we won't be able to handle some of the issues that may come up. I am selfishly scared that this child or children will never fully feel like we are their parents when I will want so desperately for them to feel that way. One time (about a year ago), Tate yelled from time out at the top of his lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY MOMMY!!!!!" and though I truly don't think he really knew what that meant and think it was just a random statement that he would have made whether he had been adopted or not, it stung me to the core. Oh.my.goodness. I can't even tell you how deeply those words affected me and I fear that I will hear that from our next child(ren) again, only this time they will understand what they're saying and mean it.
And while I am talking about children. I still also get jealous of pregnancy. Not like I used to and not that I have a desire to get pregnant because I truly don't. I feel passionate about adoption and thank God every day he opened our family's eyes to adoption. However, adoption is expensive and scary. I still have jealousy towards people who want to grow their family and so all they have to do is get pregnant. Simple as that. And I know there is more to it than that and there are a whole different set of risks and costs and fears, but in my sinful heart and mind I sometimes still think, "it's not fair...why can't it be that east for us!"
I am terrible at saying "no". Terrible. I genuinely want to say "yes" to everything. I am scared of people thinking that I am not nice or don't care or am self centered if I say "no" to something they've asked of me. It has gotten me into lots and lots of stressful situations. I sometimes commit to too much. I want to help everyone and do all I can for everyone, but I think that sometimes I lose myself in the process. Oh, but then there are so many ways in which I am so selfish. Ahhhh, it's such a problem! And honestly, I wrote and deleted and then wrote this paragraph again because I don't want any of you to think that in writing this I am in any way, shape or form trying to hint at you all to not ask me for help or favors. It is truly one of my greatest joys to be able to help others and to strive to be a good friend or family member, so please don't think that. I just need to learn how to balance things...it's not something I have mastered. I need to learn my limits.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I am just making sure I document all of this to keep myself accountable!
I got to go shopping in my mom's stored away winter clothes last night and scored big time! Seriously, I can't wait for it to get cold now! I NEEDED clothes, I truly had nothing I could wear from last winter and in a moment of discouragement a couple of years ago, I got rid of all of my clothes that were smaller because I just knew I would never fit into them again. Well, thank goodness I was wrong, but unfortunately that means an entire new wardrobe that I need to purchase. Good thing my birthday is in a week...I asked for clothes.
Oh my goodness, I am giddy just thinking about all of the super cute stuff I have now...GIDDY! I have a LONG ways to go to my weightloss goal, but getting some cute, smaller clothes that fit gives me motivation for some reason. I was feeling awfully frumpy in my too baggy clothes and 1 pair of new jeans that actually fits.
Monday, September 12, 2011
So today was the day...I dropped Tate and Ava off at daycare, put on my running clothes and shoes and took off. And MAN it felt GOOD! I thought I might not be able to run more than a half mile before feeling winded and having to stop, but turns out my body hasn't had a long enough break to forget how to run. :) Yay! I made it a mile and a half (which isn't great, but I'll take it!) without feeling like I really wanted to stop. I probably could have gone another half mile, but thought I wouldn't push it too much right away. I think I'll do 2 miles tomorrow and stick with that for a while and hopefully work back up to that 3 to 3 1/2 mile point in the next 4 to 6 weeks. I would like to find another 5k to run in the area sometime in November. Are there even any 5k's in November???
Just in case I cannot find a 5k at a time that's convenient for me, I feel like I still need a goal. So I have set a goal for myself...I want to run 100 miles by Thanksgiving. That's not even 10 miles per week. I think I can do that. And just to hold myself accountable, I am putting a new addition to my sidebar where I will track it. Ugh. I hope I am not setting myself up for failure!
I am starting at today. Wish me luck!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
And this pretty much sums up how all of us felt after the game...