Sunday, September 18, 2011

2nd Homestudy and thoughts...

We had our 2nd homestudy visit on Wednesday and after it was over, we decided to go out to dinner and for a little drive. We happened upon a little lookout area in Davenport that we didn't even know existed. It was really pretty and really cold out!

Of course, I had my camera near by! :)

And just to keep it real...I LOVE this man, but he also drives me completely crazy sometimes! Ha. I don't want to fool you all into thinking we have the perfect marriage because we don't. In fact, that's just there a such thing as a perfect marriage? We bicker and argue more than I'd like to admit, but we also have so much fun together and laugh a lot! I think laughing together is so so important. He works incredibly hard to support our family and I am so grateful for him. We are in a good place right now. You know how there are just times/seasons of a marriage when things just "work" and then there are times when everything seems to be going wrong? You know, like when it doesn't matter what your spouse does, it's going to drive you nuts. We have those seasons, but right now we're good. We are enjoying each other so much and just on the same page. I love these seasons! I love these times that we are united in our paths and where we are envisioning we are heading as a family.

And he is an amazing Daddy and is going to be an amazing Daddy to another child(ren) in our near future. I can't wait to grow our family with him and pray that we can remain in our "good place" even though the path we are taking to grow our family is going to be challenging and new to us. I pray we stay united in our vision through all that is to come.

I love knowing that no matter what, we are in this together for the long haul...forever. We work through the difficult times and understand that we will disagree. It's taken (almost) 7 years of marriage to learn how to work together during the good and the bad. There were times when our reactions to things just made our situations seem worse and our arguments prolonged, but those difficult times have definitely taught us what not to do and what things work to make us a stronger unit. We've learned to pick our battles and most importantly learned that to change things, we need to change OURSELVES. We cannot change each other...especially not by telling the other one that they need to change. I remember a time when I felt that when things were rough, Sean was the one that needed to do all the changing. I was right and he wasn't. Period. And I would tell him that! I would tell him all of the things he needed to change. My how that has changed! Turns out I needed to change just as much as he did...maybe even more! And in learning that my reactions to things will change his actions, our marriage has changed immensely. It's been hard and continues to be and we both have so much more to learn.

I guess as we enter this next chapter in our lives as we grow our family, my mind goes to these types of things. As the days pass by and we are one step closer to our family changing with the addition of more children, I can't help but reflect on our marriage and family as it is now and how much it has changed. I feel the need to constantly remind myself of how to handle the trials because this next season is likely going to be a trying one with all of the changes that will be happening.

All that to say "bring it on"! We are as ready as we're going to be for this next chapter! We have 2 PS-MAPP classes left, we are completing the final little things we need to complete to be licensed and approved to bring another child into our home. Our hearts are ready and excited to love more children. We have handed our worries to God and know that He has a plan for our family and we are starting to see glimpses of what we believe that plan might be. We are nervous and excited and scared as our eyes have been opened to the possibility of our family looking much different than we ever thought it could possibly look. God is GOOD and amazing and surprises us as selfish, sinful, earthly beings who believe we have control of what is going to happen and believe we have the ability to dictate our future. We are trusting Him. We know we cannot dictate what is about to happen to our family. We know that what He has in store for us could be much different than we ever dreamed...we know it could be much more difficult. We are going to follow His will for our family with open hearts and put our trust in Him.

Could you pray for us? Could you pray that we are able to handle what could be given to us? Could you pray that we never forget, even when times get rough (as they likely will), that He is there and that He is the answer?

(on a side note...I have considered making this blog "Private" while we are going through the remainder of this process until our adoption is finalized. I want to continue to document this process, but due to confindentiality I either need to make this blog "Private", or start to avoid the topic until everything is said and done. Just wanted to give you fair warning that if this blog starts to show that you need a password to read it, that is why.)

1 comment:

Our Journey Without Naps said...

Praying.........He has a plan and you just have to believe. We love you!!