I made the call today to let Family Resources know that we will not be renewing our foster license. It was an incredibly hard decision that I am still a little sick about. I mean, there is such an unbelievable need for good foster families and we believe we were a good foster family. We have room in our home and are passionate about foster care. However, we have to make our family our priority. We had to think long and hard and had to KNOW that this was the right decision before making it final. We have gone back and forth so much and prayed about it for so long. Every time we thought we could do it and possibly take on more children, something would happen...I believe it was God reminding us that or hands are full, that we need to focus on what we have and remember that there is a point when our kids could starve for the necessary attention and care they need if we took on another child or children. We can love more kids, we can house more kids. We shouldn't. We have a LONG road ahead of us in dealing with the needs of all of our children...a lifelong journey. There will be much time in therapies and time in the hospital and time possibly spent with Wesley getting dialysis or getting another transplant. Who knows how far Cason will go developmentally and what care he will need from us as he grows. And Tate's life was turned upside down when we adopted 2 children with extensive special needs at the same time. He has his own struggles and needs that we battle just like with any child.
We have an incredible village who loves us and our boys and helps us and has picked up our slack while we have spent time caring for them. We will need these family and friends forever...we couldn't do this without their help. So taking on more children would effect more than just us...it would effect our loved ones who help us. We want to be the best for our kids...we want them to have all of the opportunities and love and attention and time from us as possible. We just feel like we're at our limit. We can do all that now. We feel if we took on any more children, we couldn't.
ALL 3 of our boys have very specific needs that require so much time, attention and energy. It is our life and I love it and most of the time, it's not terribly overwhelming, but sometimes it all comes at the same time and I feel like I can't address each of their needs all at once. I get overwhelmed and emotional and feel like a failure. I can't imagine adding to that. Though those times aren't too terribly frequent, I get upset with myself for not being at my best ALL the time for them and for Sean.
Our hearts are full...so incredibly full. We can't imagine not having these boys, we know that God has blessed us beyond measure. We want only the best for our boys and our family. It's been a rocky road these 2 years since becoming a foster family. It's been full of ups and downs and we've dealt with so much we never ever dreamed we would ever have to. Our eyes have been opened to a whole knew world with the adoption of all 3 of these boys. So though it was a hard decision, it is a decision that we know is right.
Who knows what the future holds for us as the years go by. We have learned that our life certainly doesn't go as we have always planned, so we won't say what is to come, but for now...we are content with our family just as it is!
Are you? Have you considered becoming a foster family? Do you have room in your hearts and homes and time to love a child? Please do not hesitate to contact me, I would be so happy to answer ANY questions you have...even if you are just considering it or this post has made you think it could be a possibility. Less than 3 years ago, I would have never dreamed we would ever do foster care, but in talking with other foster parents, I learned so much I didn't know, I learned that I could do this, that it wasn't what I thought...and it gave me this incredible family. There is SUCH a need...please let me know if you are considering it, I would love to answer your questions!