You may have all heard me say that we were not planning on renewing our Foster Care License. We never hesitated in making this decision after the newest additions to our family arrived...our hands our full to say the least! We have said time and time again, "we're done". There was no need for us to renew our license.
Well, we recieved an email yesterday with some information regarding renewal classes and what not. It was pretty much stating that this is it, if you want to renew, you had better get signed up for these classes because if you don't, there won't be time to get them done in order to renew. Suddenly I had a moment of panic...are we SURE we want to be done?! I mean, I DO NOT want anymore kids right now...right now. I am ALMOST certain I don't want anymore kids ever, but the key word there is ALMOST. Eek. Who knows how I'll feel in 5 years, I sure don't. Not renewing felt almost like a vasectomy you know? I mean, we could always go through the classes again in the future and become licensed again, but that is such a huge process and was difficult enough to find time to do it with 1 child, let alone 3! Not renewing scared me...it was too final. However, I needed to ask Sean how he felt. To my surprise, when I explained that we need to make the decision now, he said, "we better sign up for the classes." :) So it's final...we are renewing.
I know many of you will think we are crazy and well, we kind of are! Renewing does not mean that we will be growing our family again anytime soon or maybe ever, but it gives us the opportunity to help out in the foster care community by doing respite and also allows us to grow our family again without a huge lengthy process if we so desire to down the road.
So I lied...unintentionally. I truly believed we were not going to renew and thought I was at peace with that decision. And again I am reminded that I have no control over my life and need to follow what I feel God is placing on my heart. Thankful for all He has provided for us by following His paths for our lives and anxious to see how else we will be surprised by Him!