I believe that God is looking down at us as we take our adoption journey and he's shaking his head and saying to himself, "stop trying to control this, stop thinking that you have any control over this. Have I not shown you enough that I am in control and not you?" He has, He has shown us through the course of our marriage several times that we have no control. Why do I keep trying to take that control back? When I do that, it just sets me up for disappointment when things don't go how I am envisioning they will go. When the direction of our path changes, it's not always a bad thing, but sometimes it seems like it is just because I'm so focused on one direction that the shift is stressful and overwhelming.
That's kind of what happened yesterday. I am fine...we are fine. We are more than fine. We are letting go and letting God take care of the details. I know that we will have to remind ourselves over and over of that, but that's what we'll do each time we try to take the control back. If you are reading this and KNOW me well, you know that my inability to disclose every little detail is excruciating for me. I am kind of an open book type of gal. :) Most of you know this about me. This process is definitely teaching me to be more tight lipped, which is definitely something that will be good for me! :)
Please understand that I cannot disclose any details about many of the things I will be writing about for some time now. I know it's frustrating to many of you...and trust me, it's frustrating for me too! If you can pray for us without knowing details, please do. We have a long road ahead of us and anticipate many twists and turns along the way. Please pray our hearts are prepared for everything that is to come.
All of this being said, I will repeat myself again. We have the most incredibly supportive network of friends and family. Oh my goodness, these challenges have a way of really making me feel like the most blessed woman in the world. So blessed to have each of you...really!