he fits perfectly

He always has.
Every ounce of him has always fit perfectly.
Physically, emotionally...he has always fit from the first moment.
I have never felt like Tate wasn't my son...not ever.
I loved him so much I would die for him from the very first day.
And physically, he has always fit.
It's like his body was created to fit perfectly into mine.
Tonight I was rocking Tate while he layed on my chest and I just thought, "it's like God made his body to fit perfectly into mine."
Then I realized, He did...God knew Tate was going to be my son before Tate was ever born.
And so it is how it has always been planned to be.

My "baby" turns 4 today...4!!!

Here are Tate and I when Tate was a few days old...

Tate on his 1st birthday (he's still just as messy of an eater)...

Tate on his 2nd birthday...

Tate on his 3rd birthday...

And now he's 4.
And maybe it's crazy, but I well up every time I think about it.

I love him so much...more than I can ever put into words.
I just want to freeze time.
Saying that I have a 4 year old just seems SO DIFFERENT than saying I have a 3 year old.
I can't believe that it's been 4 years since he was born.
I wasn't there, but I do believe he was officially born into my heart that day.
On the day he was born, my mind and heart were full of thoughts and dreams of him and what his birth parents must be going through.
Without even knowing about him yet, I posted this...

A Mother's Prayer
She's in my thoughts, each day I wake,

I wonder how she feels.

I pray for her, with all my heart

God please, do help her heal.

Hold her close & help her Lord,

their love will never part.

Please help her heal & help her smile,

for this will break her heart.

Help her know how much she means,

to a family whose hope was lost.

God, help her know with all our joy,

we'll not forget her loss.

Please give her love & bless her heart,

and help her through each day.

Dry her tears & heal her soul

...for this Dear Lord I pray.


I found this poem tonight and although it's written by an adoptive parent who already has their child, I still can relate to these feelings. I pray everyday for the birth mother of our child. God knows who she is and we know he listens to our prayers. I can only imagine how much gratitude I will have for our baby's birth mother once we receive our baby. I am sure it will be beyond any gratitude we imagined we would have, but our thoughts and prayers are with her everyday even though we have yet to meet her or know who she is. I just really loved this poem and thought I would share it with all of you!

He's always fit perfectly, since before I even knew he existed.
He's always been my son, since before I even knew he existed.