Monday, April 06, 2009

music to my ears

Oh, I wish you could hear the sounds that I am listening to from the monitor. I'm pretty content right now. All the lights are off in my living room, I'm sitting in the dark with only my computer as light and the words, "ashes ashes, we faw down!" are coming through the monitor. Then between verses his little voice says, "I go pee pee, I go in potty!" He's too funny. No, he hasn't gone pee pee in the potty yet, so I have no idea why he's saying that, but it's still so cute. His little voice is honestly the sweetest sound to me.

As we help our friends through the steps of their adoption process, I am reminded of when we went through those same steps only 3 years ago. I had no idea what I was getting into, what kind of a life change was occurring. I had not a clue of this love that I have for Tate. Now, I can't imagine what my life was like without it. I was missing out on so much, missing out on this thing that is so beyond love that there is no word to describe it. And each day, when I look at him, I know that there is just no way that I can love him any more than I do at that moment, yet somehow, each day I love him more!

So tonight as I sit here listening to Tate through the monitor, I am so beyond thankful for Tate's birth parents and their amazing choice to give him life and to sacrifice their role as his Mommy and Daddy so that he could have all they wanted him to have. Our amazement of them has only grown stronger as the time has passed. I say a prayer for each of them every single day and cannot imagine letting a day go by without doing so. It's amazing to see how God's plan is so perfectly orchestrated. How everything just fits. The good and the bad...it all makes sense at some point. You know how adoptive parents will say that their children "grew in their heart", well that saying is so much more than just a clever figure of speech. It's true. Tate really did grow inside of me, though it wasn't in the same place a biological baby grows, he still was always there, I could feel him growing inside of me from the day we decided we were going on this adoption journey, which just happened to be 9 months before Tate was born. And when I held him for the first time and looked at his perfect face, I knew without a doubt that he was my son, he was the child that had been growing in my heart for 9 months. I don't think all of that is a coincidence. It was all orchestrated by God in His perfect timing.

4 comments:

Mom said...

Amen!! :)

sarak said...

Absolutely!

Corey and Melissa said...

Beautiful

KatieVL said...

Hey, you send me chills! You hit it right on the head! We really need to get together! it is hard to believe Tate is (almost??) 2! Gerrit is growing up fast and is 21 months today! I love reading your blog! ~Katie