Why?

I am still awake. I wake up every morning exhausted, I don't want to wake up. While at work I think (several times) about how I am going to go to bed early tonight. I feel like I can barely make it through the day. I get off of work and spend the evening getting dinner ready and playing with Tate with full intentions of going to bed EARLY. Then, about 7 pm, I feel it. It's my second wind. I can't stop it from coming. I am no longer tired. I know if I go to bed, I'll lie awake in bed thinking about things and won't sleep. I don't know if that's actually true because I've never tried to go to bed early. Then, I blink my eyes and it's 11 pm and I realize that this cycle is going to start all over tomorrow because I will not get all the sleep I "need" to function well. I am fully aware of this cycle, but I can't stop it. It's a problem. So here I am, it's 11:07 pm, and I am blogging. Why? I don't know...I really don't know.