Well, we are surviving. We are taking things day by day, minute by minute. We are still managing to fit in lots of stuff into our schedule outside of just being a family. Not sure it's the smartest way to go about things, but it's just how we are I guess. I have moments every single day where I am just so overwhelmed. Some of those moments last all day! :)
I feel it's important to maintain the things outside of just disciplining, making breakfast lunch and dinner, changing diapers, giving baths, doing laundry, picking up the house, giving time outs, administering meds, going to physical and occupational therapy that bring me joy. However, I am finding it hard to find time to do anything else aside from those things listed above. I need to fit time in with friends and family, get into the real world for a couple of hours now and then, be creative, take photographs, have adult interaction that doesn't include what we are working on for therapy this week or discussing medications and doctor appointments. I have found that finding the time to do any of those things has come at the sacrifice of sleep and after about 10 days of that lack of sleep, I just can't be the mommy and wife I want/need to be. So I try to get at least 1 good night of sleep every 7-10 days so I can have fuel for the next week. I need those extra things outside of being a mommy and wife to keep my sanity and to have that at this season in my life, I am pretty certain I will not be able to get a good night sleep every night. So 5 1/2 hours is the key number. If I can get a minimum of 5 1/2 hours of sleep each night, I am good for that 7-10 days before I need a good 8 hours to refuel.
As far as you friends and family out there who we have yet to hang out with and spend time with...it's not you, I promise. It's me...it's us. The thing is, our newest addition is kind of confused as to who mommy and daddy are when other adults are around. We want him to completely understand who we are and create some boundaries for him. He loves being around other people, he loves playing with other kids, but he needs constant supervision when not at our home or when around a bunch of new people. And to be honest, it's me who is not ready for that. After a day of being a mommy and doing all of those duties, I just don't think it's any fun to have to hover over our little 3 year old and not allow him to just run and play (like he can at our home when it's just us). And I am still pretty certain that though he seems ready to be exposed to lots of people and experiences, he's not. He gets confused and overwhelmed and makes bad choices and I just don't want to set him up for confusion and put him in a place where I know he will end up just needing disciplined...it's just too soon. So we keep these interactions limited right now. Maybe one little gathering a week. We used to get together and hang out with people a few times a week, so this is an adjustment for Sean, Tate and I for sure.
And speaking of Tate. He has probably as much of an adjustment to deal with as our newest addition does! And he is amazing and wonderful. He doesn't love his new brother yet though. Really, it's a struggle. He's (for the most part) kind to him, but definitely not overly loving and affectionate like he is to our baby. He will come around. In the last week there have been glimpses of what things will grow into. They've played together in his room, shared, giggled, wrestled around, etc. However, he for the most part just ignores this new fixture in our family. He's doing less acting out though and getting to the point where he is realizing that we are now a family of 5. He stands firm in his desire to be a family of 6 though. Just yesterday he said it to me again, "Mommy, remember I want to be a family of 6 with a sister." He's so silly and pretty crazy if he thinks that might happen! Ha.
So all in all, our adjustment is going as expected. We are so blessed by these boys and know that as everyone adjusts and time goes on, things in our family are going to be so much fun and our house will be so full of excitement and I cannot wait for that! I cannot even begin to describe how blessed I feel when I look at this family we've built of 3 completely different boys with such different and wonderful little personalities. I feel like I have the best of every world in these boys. Between all of them, we have smart, athletic, artsy, cuddly, comedic, quirky, inquisitive, rambunctious, joyous, deep thinking, competitive, caring, loving, silly, strong willed, loud, quiet, social little boys. We have everything between the 3 of them and I don't think we could ask for more!
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