I was chatting online with someone tonight about parenting and the difficulties involved. About guilt for things we've done in raising our children that if we got the chance to do it all over again, we may do differently. It really got me thinking. You know, I've said so many times how you just never know how difficult marriage and parenting are until you are doing them yourself. People can tell you over and over, but you just can't understand until it's happening to you. I never knew what "hard work" was until I entered into marriage and parenthood. Though these two things are the hardest things I've ever done in my life, they are far more rewarding than anything I ever dreamed as well.
In regards to marriage...I heard a quote on the radio several months ago that made me feel so convicted! It truly has changed the way I have handled things in my marriage. The quote was this...
"Be the person you want to be married to."
Wow. I know, many times, I would NOT want to be married to me! It's true. That quote has come to my thoughts countless times since I heard it. I have changed the way I am in my marriage because of it. Love it.
In regards to parenting...I just hate that many times you don't know if you're doing the right thing or not until much farther down the road when you see the effects of your parenting choices. I have yet to see the effects of many of our choices, but I just hope and pray we're doing it right. I know we will fail sometimes...actually, I feel like I am a failure in the parenting department more often than I should! I just simply don't know what I am doing. I am SO SO SO grateful for the camaraderie I have with other mothers/parents out there. I don't believe that every child should be parented in the same way so I take bits and pieces from so many mothers I know. I love that I have friends and family (and even acquaintances who I can chat with on Facebook!) that I can go to for advice or even just a listening ear. It's so nice for me to not feel alone in my concern and to not feel judged. I love Tate more than I knew was humanly possible to love another being and all I want to do is make the best choices for him now that will help him to become the amazing man I know he can be in the future. How do I know if I'm doing that?!
About once every 2 or 3 weeks I will rock Tate before bed. It's not a habit because he whines when I say we're done and he needs to go to bed and it's usually easier just to put him to bed. Sometimes he asks me to rock him and I just can't resist! :) Whenever we rock, that's when we will say our bedtime prayers and typically I will pray longer when I'm rocking him since there's not a hurry to get him to bed. Tonight I rocked him and we prayed. When I said, "amen", he said, "will you keep praying?" Of course, I obliged. I started to pray more about things that he might not fully understand...I prayed about all of our family and friends and about parenting. I had prayed something along the lines of being a good mommy to Tate and making the right choices. Well, Tate looked up at me and said, "you're a good mommy and if you make a bad choice, that's okay, you can try again tomorrow."
Oh.My.Heart.
The thing is...he's right. I'm not always going to make the right choices, but hopefully I can learn from my mistakes and do better from there. And my love language by a mile is "WORDS OF AFFIRMATION". So those words, even though I'm not sure he really understood what he was saying, meant so much to me!
I love that boy...my words cannot do justice to the amount of love I have for him.
In regards to marriage...I heard a quote on the radio several months ago that made me feel so convicted! It truly has changed the way I have handled things in my marriage. The quote was this...
"Be the person you want to be married to."
Wow. I know, many times, I would NOT want to be married to me! It's true. That quote has come to my thoughts countless times since I heard it. I have changed the way I am in my marriage because of it. Love it.
In regards to parenting...I just hate that many times you don't know if you're doing the right thing or not until much farther down the road when you see the effects of your parenting choices. I have yet to see the effects of many of our choices, but I just hope and pray we're doing it right. I know we will fail sometimes...actually, I feel like I am a failure in the parenting department more often than I should! I just simply don't know what I am doing. I am SO SO SO grateful for the camaraderie I have with other mothers/parents out there. I don't believe that every child should be parented in the same way so I take bits and pieces from so many mothers I know. I love that I have friends and family (and even acquaintances who I can chat with on Facebook!) that I can go to for advice or even just a listening ear. It's so nice for me to not feel alone in my concern and to not feel judged. I love Tate more than I knew was humanly possible to love another being and all I want to do is make the best choices for him now that will help him to become the amazing man I know he can be in the future. How do I know if I'm doing that?!
About once every 2 or 3 weeks I will rock Tate before bed. It's not a habit because he whines when I say we're done and he needs to go to bed and it's usually easier just to put him to bed. Sometimes he asks me to rock him and I just can't resist! :) Whenever we rock, that's when we will say our bedtime prayers and typically I will pray longer when I'm rocking him since there's not a hurry to get him to bed. Tonight I rocked him and we prayed. When I said, "amen", he said, "will you keep praying?" Of course, I obliged. I started to pray more about things that he might not fully understand...I prayed about all of our family and friends and about parenting. I had prayed something along the lines of being a good mommy to Tate and making the right choices. Well, Tate looked up at me and said, "you're a good mommy and if you make a bad choice, that's okay, you can try again tomorrow."
Oh.My.Heart.
The thing is...he's right. I'm not always going to make the right choices, but hopefully I can learn from my mistakes and do better from there. And my love language by a mile is "WORDS OF AFFIRMATION". So those words, even though I'm not sure he really understood what he was saying, meant so much to me!
I love that boy...my words cannot do justice to the amount of love I have for him.
1 comment:
This particular blog touched me, as I too have found marriage and parenting difficult, confusing, etc. The greatest part of parenting is behind me, I wonder what ifs, I wish I could haves and could I have made better choices. I did the best of my ability.
With God's guidance and grace go you.
Love you Jennie, Linda
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