Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Grace and Camaraderie

I read the following on Jody's blog today.
I love it...

“What I need as a mother is grace. God’s grace, that allows me to fail and try again, that allows me to ask for help when I don’t have the wisdom or patience I need, that reminds me we’re not alone in this, and that God loves my son even more than I do. And grace from other mothers. I need grace and truth-telling and camaraderie from other moms. I need us to tell the truth about how hard it is, and I need us to help each other, instead of hiding behind the pretense and pressure of perfection.

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Let’s think about grace—grace from a God who loves us and values us and picks us up every time we fall, with just exactly the same love and tenderness you feel when you pick up your kids after they have fallen. And the grace we show one another when we drop the comparisons and the catalog images and really walk with one another, on the good days and the bad days. Let’s think about honesty and helping and telling our stories. Let’s give each other a break and a little help and some soft places to land.

If you’re a mom, what you do is nurture and protect and give grace. You do it all the time, and it’s very important, because it reminds us, in daily, tangible ways how God nurtures and protects and gives grace. And maybe today the one who really needs that nurturing and protection and grace is you.”

(S. Niequist)


Some of my thoughts about this...

This is one of the reasons that I have said before that I want to be more honest on this blog. I think it's because I don't feel alone when I read about or talk to someone who is having struggles in certain areas of motherhood. It makes me feel like it's okay to be feeling the way I feel or struggling in the way I'm struggling. It's usually just the daily struggles with this and that, but sometimes I just think, "am I the only person who struggles with this?!!!" I mean, I read a gazillion blogs and so many of the authors portray this perfect life and perfect family. Are their lives really that way?!

Honestly, I am SO VERY BLESSED with my little family. I love my husband and son. I love being a wife and mother. It has been my greatest joy. Really though, marriage and motherhood are HARD! I want more kids, but I'm inpatient and adopting is expensive! Sean and I have our struggles, I have my struggles as a mother, I have days where I fail as both a wife and mother. Sean and I bicker and fight, I raise my voice to Tate (and Sean) way too much, I lose my patience all the time, I am not always a great house keeper yet that is what my "job" is supposed to be when I'm home all day, I let Tate watch too much TV, I frequently stay in my pajamas all day and I leave dirty dishes in the sink way too long. I am in need of grace from so many people...especially God. What a relief that it is given to me freely!

The camaraderie from you mothers I know is irreplaceable. I remember when we first got Tate that I suddenly felt this new bond with all mothers out there. I became closer to my sister and sister-in-laws and to many of my friends that were already mothers. Sometimes I get embarrassed when Tate misbehaves and I don't want people to judge my parenting or think I'm not doing a good job. There are many friends and family in my life though that I don't have to feel that embarrassment with and I am so grateful for those of you. Those of you that pick me up when I'm down about my failures as a mother, those of you that look at me and say, "oh, that happens to me all the time!" or "my child acts the same way!" or "don't worry about it, my child did that, he'll grow out of it" or just an "I know exactly how you feel!". I certainly don't have a perfect life and don't want to hide 'behind the pretense and pressure of perfection'.

So many of you (think you know who you are!) have given me a 'break and a little help and some soft places to land', so thank you...I hope that I can do the same for you!

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