Sunday, December 28, 2008

I'm ready now.

Since the date was set to have Tate's tonsils taken out, I have just been sick about it. I just feel so nervous about it. The feeling of someone taking him away from me and then him being drugged to go to sleep so that he can get his tonsils and adenoids taken out just gives me a sinking feeling. I know it's necessary though...and now I'm ready. This is why...

Tate's chin has become SO chapped from it being soaked with drool 24-7 because he can't swallow. He constantly has a drool soaked shirt and in this cold weather...that's no good. Ugh. Tate has this last 24 hours been in pain from his chin being so chapped and cracked. It's bright red and he sticks it out and begs for Vaseline on it. I have been bathing his chin in it to hopefully prevent it from getting any worse. I feel so bad for him. Since we have done so much traveling, we have been in the car a lot. Car ride = Tate sleeping. Tate has had sleep apnea for, well...his whole life I think. I always thought it was a bit scary to hear him sleeping, but not more than now. Since he's slept in the car so much lately, I have been able to hear up close and personal how he cannot breath while sleeping. It is so unbelievably scary. Because of my new found knowledge of his lack of breathing during sleep, I have found myself waking up frequently at night to make sure he's still breathing. Honestly, he doesn't sleep well, I am not sleeping well...so I am ready. Ready for him to be able to breath, to have a dry shirt, to be able to sleep, to be able to eat. I am ready...nervous, but ready.

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