This afternoon I was doing a lot of thinking about the last 7 1/2 weeks. I just cannot believe that Sean and I have been so blessed to receive Tate! We love Tate so much and cherish every moment with him. I decided to look back and see if I had posted on my blog on the day Tate was born. This is the post that I put on my blog on the day Tate was born, but we had not found out about him yet. We would hear about Tate less than 24 hours after I posted this...it gave me chills when I read it again:
A Mother's Prayer
She's in my thoughts, each day I wake,
I wonder how she feels.
I pray for her, with all my heart
God please, do help her heal.
Hold her close & help her Lord,
their love will never part.
Please help her heal & help her smile,
for this will break her heart.
Help her know how much she means,
to a family whose hope was lost.
God, help her know with all our joy,
we'll not forget her loss.
Please give her love & bless her heart,
and help her through each day.
Dry her tears & heal her soul
...for this Dear Lord I pray.
"I found this poem tonight and although it's written by an adoptive parent who already has their child, I still can relate to these feelings. I pray everyday for the birthmother of our child. God knows who she is and we know he listens to our prayers. I can only imagine how much gratitude I will have for our baby's birthmother once we receive our baby. I am sure it will be beyond any gratitude we imagined we would have, but our thoughts and prayers are with her everyday even though we have yet to meet her or know who she is. I just really loved this poem and thought I would share it with all of you!"
It is amazing to me that my son was born and Brandon and Maggie were looking at our profile at possibly the very moment I was writing this post. I remember vividly how I was feeling when I posted this poem...I remember crying as I typed it and truly feeling the words of the poem. I had no idea how deep those feelings would be in less than 24 hours after posting that. I had no clue what emotions were shortly following. Reading the poem now, it stands even more true than before...I feel those words more deep in my heart than the day I first read it. Now we realize the gratitude that we have for Tate's birthmother is beyond any words, but also we have that same gratitude for Tate's birthfather...that was something we never expected. For some reason, we just assumed that the birthfather wouldn't be in the mother or child's life...that's what we heard "most situations" were like. We were so blessed to have a situation that wasn't like "most situations"! I know I seem to type the same types of things each time I write about how grateful and blessed we are, and I probably will continue to do so. I just can't find any other words...it seems that words diminish the amount of gratitude we are feeling. Every day when I look at Tate, my perfect little son, my heart is so full it feels like it hurts...I love him SO MUCH it hurts! I feel as though I can't take a breath. If I wasn't able to control myself, I would be in a puddle of tears (tears of JOY!) every time I looked at him! Everyone tells you that you cannot describe a mother's love...it's a love that you never knew existed, and I now COMPLETELY understand that. I want to be able to write how it feels, but words could never describe it! I know that all of you mothers out there know what I mean. I am so happy that I am able to experience this joy called motherhood...I have no one to thank, but God. He is the one who brought Maggie and Brandon to us. He is the one who gave Tate to us. Every ounce of my being knows that God created Tate just for us from the moment Tate was conceived. No part of me feels like Tate is not completely, 100%, our son. God made Sean and I adoptive parents, and we are SO GRATEFUL for that!
