Don't know what to post...so I'll ramble.

I was just thinking that I should blog. I have no idea what words are going to come out of me tonight, so I am just going to ramble the thoughts that are going through my mind.

I just watched Juno. I bawled. It touched Sean too. I just feel so blessed. And sad. And anxious. The movie made my heart ache for Tate's birth parents, made me anxious to experience the blessing of adoption again and just made me feel so blessed to have Tate. When it was over, Sean said, "I just want to go get Tate out of bed and hug him!" I know what he means. I just never knew this would be my life. I never knew I would be an adoptive mother. And now, I can't imagine NOT being an adoptive mother. It's one of those things that truly changes who you are. I feel it did for me. I know it did for Sean. It's something that (even though it's not realistic) you want everyone to experience even if it's just so that they completely understand you and what it does to who you are. I have blogged countless numbers of times about how blessed we feel and how amazing we feel adoption is. I know I am repeating myself. I can't help it. I can't stop. There are no words. None.

Moving on...

Here is my brutally honest (and random) paragraph...

I hate my job. I mean, I would hate ANY job. I miss my job as a stay at home mom. I am going to sound super high and mighty (remember...random thoughts and this is my "brutally honest paragraph"), but I feel like I am better than having to listen to people scream at me on the phone all day. I am not better than that. I know that. That is just not even right that I said that, but I am not with holding here...obviously. SO there's my thoughts on that. And no matter what I do, my house just cannot stay in order for more than a couple of days. It's a problem. I cannot get a handle on the laundry, cleaning, dishes, laundry, laundry, toys, toys, toys. It's kind of out of control. No matter how much I tell myself I am going to get it under control...it never happens. I just can't!

Moving onto more happy thoughts...

Though I complain a lot in life and on my blog. I really, deep down am content. I wish I could have a maid, a money tree, an electric car, a model's figure ;), a little boy who obeys my every word and cuddles me when I so desire Tater cuddles, a job inside the home, a husband who is off the same hours I am off. Truly, I DO know that these things are NOT what's important and though I forget that momentarily, I always am reminded. God always pushes me back to reality somehow. It's amazing how I would have dealt with my circumstances so much differently before I had Him in my life. I just don't know how people deal with hard times, sad times, happy times...anytime for that matter, without God in their life. It's like I don't remember what it was like before I had a relationship with Him. Maybe I just don't want to remember.

So how about that for a random post! Good Night!