Tomorrow is Tate's 1st day at daycare. I am sad, nervous, nauseas, worried and scared. He's never been cared for by anyone he didn't know. He is kind of sensitive (or maybe I am just the sensitive one) and gets nervous around strangers. He is shy and quite attached to Sean and I, so I just plain don't want him to go. I don't...I am not ready. I will never be ready. He will be fine, it will be good for him...I know these things. I don't care. I want him with me. I am very comfortable with the daycare provider, I know someone who takes their child there, I called ALL of the mothers of the children that go there and asked them a never ending list of questions. I have not heard a bad thing about her. She's just what I would want in a caregiver for my child. None of that matters. She will be the one who gets to spend all day with my precious baby. She will be the one that will wipe his tears and comfort him when he's hurt or sad. She will be the one that makes him giggle and gets to play with him all day...not me. I want to do those things with him. It makes me sad to think that he will be nervous or wonder where I am or not feel comfortable. I know that he will probably have so much fun there and enjoy playing with all of the other kids and doing all kinds of fun and different activities, but for some reason, it doesn't make me feel any better. I am selfish.
He will only be there for about 2 1/2 hours tomorrow and Friday. Next week, he will be there for 5 1/2 hours on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and then all day on Thursday and Friday.
I am so afraid that I won't be able to do it, that I won't be able to walk out of her door and leave him there. I am going to be a mess!
5 comments:
You'll be fine, he'll be fine and all will work out in time!! Life is full of changes, you can choose to except them and make them better or suffer silently... You will do the right thing Jennie, I know that! :-) Give Tater a huge Nana hug & kiss for me please!!
Love to all,
Mom
You can do this Jennie. Remember how difficult it was for me especially with Livy at the beginning of the school year? We made it through that...you will do it! You are a strong person (even with tears). Dont be afraid to cry when you drop him off (as if I have to say that to you)..I do every Fall when I drop off my girls. It will make you totally appreciate every minute you get to spend with him!
Talk to you soon!
Jennie,
I have been meaning to comment to you about your last post! I read it last night and have been thinking about you all day. I know just how you feel. When I read it I felt as though I had written it! I just want to remind you that you are such a strong and the advice you gave me last fall when I had those feelings. They were words to remember! You can do anything through Christ who will give you strength. I will continue to pray for you. Oh, and if you cry it's okay I did more than once. We miss you tons!
Love always,
Lora
Jennie,
Oops! I meant that you are a strong person and that your advice when I went back to work was so helpful. You said that it was good to expose Ava to other children and adults. This is all so true for you, too! Tate will benefit from this and so you will you. You and Sean are such fabulous parents! Tate will see how special you are and how much he is loved.
Love,
Lora
Thank you for all of your kind words and encouragement. I need them! Things will be ok, I know that. I am just going to be sad for a while. This will be a huge change for me, but good things will come from it!
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