Feelings...

I can't sleep. I decided to look back at my posts from October when we got Tate. I am a puddle here at my computer now. I cannot even believe that it has already been almost 9 months since we got "the call" and we began our adventure of parenthood. It has been so amazing and hard and tiring and wonderful all at the same time. I look at the pictures of Tate from the day we got him and I almost can't remember him being that small! I miss it, but also am enjoying all of the new things he is doing! I definitely don't miss the lack of sleep! Less than a year ago, Sean and I were two very different people with very different priorities than we have now. We had no idea how wonderful and yet how hard parenthood would be! We had no idea of the constant worries we would have with this new little life that was so indescribably important to us! I wish that there was a word that described how I feel for Tate...love is not enough. I know that all of the mothers and fathers out there know what I am talking about. I am so amazed with these feelings still today. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and love. The feelings of gratitude that I felt for Tate's birth parents have only grown stronger these last 9 months. We have had the honor of growing our relationship with Tate's birth father to the point where he has become an important part of our family. It truly is still so surreal that we have been so blessed to have been given this little miracle who we think couldn't be more perfect!!! I still melt every time I look at Tate. I cannot imagine our life without him! What's more amazing is that with each day that passes, this love that we didn't think could be any stronger, manages to grow even more! I remember someone I know saying once that sometimes when they look at their child, they love them so much that it hurts. I didn't completely understand that until Tate was placed in our arms and in our lives. I now know exactly what that feels like, you truly do love them so much that it hurts! I am going to bed tonight feeling so blessed! I just need to remember to cherish every single second because these last 8 1/2 months have flown by and I don't want to miss a thing!