Impatience

People keep telling me to "keep them posted" on the progression of our adoption. I wish I had some new information for everyone, but as of now, we are continuing to sift our way through the last bits of paperwork, and do our final class and home study.

We were assigned a social worker a couple of days ago, so that is one step forward. We are anxious for the weeks to come, as we are expecting all of the paperwork to be completed and we will officially be awaiting a phone call. This is where I will struggle the most...

Most of you know me well enough to agree that I am lacking in the patience department. This whole process of doing paperwork, physicals, references, personal testimonies, self studies and more paperwork has kept me busy, therefor, I haven't had a lot of time to think and to be impatient. Once this whole process is done, all I'll be able to do is think and be impatient! So, I may need to find something to keep me busy. I'll work on that, but in the meantime, prayers would be appreciated! :)

Sean came into the room a few minutes ago and scared the daylights out of me...
Here I was, sifting through my Bible for something...ANYTHING, that would help me in the patience department. I was looking in the Master Index of my Bible under "patience" and was going to each individual scripture that it led me to. Sean is quite as a mouse (as many of you know) and all of a sudden, right by me, he says, "what are you doing?" I about jumped out of my chair! I could imagine how I must have looked though, I realized I was probably being overly frantic about finding what I was looking for. I AM frantic about it...I don't want to lose my patience for this process and get to the point where I am jumping out of my skin and can't think of anything else! And again, many of you who know me, know that it's very possible that I could get to that point. So I was looking to where I thought I would find and answer, I was desperate for an answer. Anyway, I answered Sean, "I am looking up patience in the Bible". Sean said, "what for?". I said, "because I need some!" He kind of gave a little laugh and walked out of the room. He was probably thinking, "good luck". I don't think he has any hope that I will someday be a patient person. Well, I hope to prove him wrong! :)

In my search, I realized that I wasn't going to find the patience that I was looking for by looking in the Master Index of the Bible. I could only find it by looking up to the Master Himself. So I stopped and said a quick prayer and when I looked back down at my Bible, immediately my eyes happened to focus in on this scripture:

"The Lord frustrates the plans of the nations and thwarts all their schemes. But the Lord's plans stand firm forever; his intentions can never be shaken." Psalm 33:10-11

This scripture spoke loud and clear to me, and it's quite simple...God has a plan for me and my frustration and lack of patience is just proof that I am not fully trusting in His plan. I will continually be working on that, as I know it is true. I often have to remind myself of this and remember that we will get our baby is His time, not ours!

All it took was for me to look up and God answered my prayer by allowing my eyes to focus on that scripture and by allowing my heart to understand it. After reading it I felt better, I no longer feared that I would not be able to overcome this lack of patience in my life. I was happy and felt like this burden of impatience had been lifted from me just by simply reading God's word. I know that I will have to continuosly remind myself to trust in His plan, but I know that I will be able to do it. It was like an immediate sense of relief after reading that scripture. It was the answer I wanted and the scripture I had earlier been searching for in the Master Index. So I decided to read on, and this is where it lead me...

"I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles."
Psalm 34:4-6

Wow, what an amazing feeling to know that if I turn to Him, He will listen and He will save me from ALL my troubles! AMEN!