A Peakin To Our Lives

a story about God...

2012-02-02T00:25:00.001-05:00

This evening when Tate was playing alone in the living room, I overheard him say something that upset me and that I was shocked to hear come out of his mouth.

He said, "I'm allergic to God".

WHAT?!?!?!

I walked in the living room and asked him what he said and he repeated it. We went on to having a conversation about why he would say something like that and so on and so forth. It still makes my stomach hurt to relive me hearing him say those words. Ugh.

Each night before bed we say prayers. Tate is praying and starts to SOB...he's praying to God and saying that he is so sorry and he doesn't want Him to be mad at him. It was like racking sobs. I started crying, he was crying...genuinely crying. He couldn't catch his breath, tears running down his face....oh my, it was heartbreaking.

We obviously then had a conversation about how God isn't mad at him and how God loves him no matter what. It wasn't really working very well to calm him down. He was asking me to tell God that he's sorry and that he doesn't know why he said that. I told him to tell God himself and he was confused. I explained that that is what praying is...it's us talking to God. I told him to just talk to God. It was like it clicked. He has prayed every night for such a long time, but apparently I never explained that when we pray, we are talking to God. It was so sweet to listen to him pray after that. And then it was funny because at the end of his prayer he said, "and please don't give me a bad dream tonight because I said I was allergic to you." Oh. My. Heart. He has problems with nightmares/night terrors still on occassion and prays every night for God to "keep his bad dreams away and his good dreams to stay".

I have no idea where he got the "allergic to God" from, but I have a feeling he won't ever say that again.

I love my little Tater so much!!!!

February!

2012-02-01T22:13:00.005-05:00

This morning was stressful. Sean and I had a meeting of sorts. This meeting could end up adding another major change in our family. A GOOD change, but a big one. :) More on that later...hopefully.

It was so nice today...on February 1st! Crazy!

Sean went back to work tonight! He is on nights for the next week...the next 3 nights. He certainly didn't ease back in! The 2 weeks he was off FLEW by! I mean, it was pretty amazing having him here...most of the time. :P There were times when my routine was thrown off a bit and I felt like I was ready for him to go back, but for the most part, it was great having him around. :)

Now I'm on my own with the boys and they're both not feeling well. Nothing major. Just not 100% and that may cause some not so great nights ahead. Hoping that's not the case, but we'll see.

I made super cute Valentine's for Tate the other day. Seriously...can't wait to share them on here. They are adorable, I think. He is super excited to hand them out at school!

I got a Valentine's themed tablecloth for our table that I think I will put out now that it's February. :) I really wanted something to hang on our front door that was cute and Valentine's Day themed...I saw lots of cute things at Kohl's and ALMOST bought one, but I didn't. They were on sale and weren't really expensive at all, I just couldn't do it when I knew it would only be hanging up for 2 weeks. I have a bright red front door so I KNOW that a Valentine's Day decoration hanging on it would look great. Maybe I'll buy one after Valentine's Day for super cheap and will use it next year! :)

All Of Me...

2012-01-30T21:42:00.001-05:00

This song made me sob tonight. Sob.

Listen to it...read the lyrics.

I mean, I have heard it countless times, but the lyrics mean so much more to me now.

I hear a lot from people about "guarding my heart" with the situation we are in. I am not guarding my heart, I don't want to and I don't think it's fair for me to try and love an innocent child less to protect myself. He will have all of me, all my love, because he's worth it. He's worth facing the fear of losing him. Even if loving him fully isn't enough, I will do it. There are no guarantees in this path we chose...not until everything is signed on the dotted line. We know this. We knew this goig into it. You know what though? There are no guarantees in life in general. We could lose Tate tonight, I could lose Sean tonight, but will I love them less because there is a chance they won't be with me forever? No. We chose the path we are on, we knew the heartbreak that could come of it, it is a risk we were willing to take. This is not coming from us feeling worried about our situation being changed. We honestly feel pretty confident in what will happen in our family in regards to our placement. That confidence isn't enough for me to not be completely terrified. TERRIFIED! I have had a handful of "moments" with the new little person in our life. "Moments" when I had that aching love that physically hurt, that "moment" when you know that your love for this person has changed and deepened. I am terrified of losing this little person. It makes me physically sick to think of that possibility. What if someone said to you, "there is a very slight chance that in the next few months, we may take your child away and give him to someone else and you will never see him again. It's probably not going to happen, but we have to be honest and tell you that it is a possibility...I mean, I would be shocked if it happened though so I don't want you to sit and constantly worry about it." Uh, ya right. It would be unfathomable to think that could happen, right? If you heard that, would you think, "well, I better not love you any deeper because it's too risky. I better guard my heart."? No way.

Am I terrified? Yes, beyond terrified.

Is he worth it? Without question.

Would I change anything if I could? No way, not a chance.

We're still here...

2012-01-30T14:42:00.002-05:00

It's been crazy. I feel like I JUST blogged and I look and it's been close to a week?!?!! I promise to go better. I am going to try and blog each night before bed.

We have been going through some delayed adjustments with our little Tater this last week. He's struggling a bit with some of the changes in our lives. It's so hard to watch him struggle. He is craving attention from us I think and will do anything to get it...whether it's positive or negative, he doesn't care. He's been getting a lot of negative attention from us this week because he is pushing our buttons big time. I know he's going through a lot so in addition to the fact that he has been frustrating us to no end this week, we know it's ultimately because he's struggling and that makes me so sad.

I am feeling that it's time for another date.

Or something, not sure what.

Oh how I love this boy so much!

Sometimes I feel like such a failure as his mother.

I need to do better. It's a balancing act, really. And we may be adding one more thing that could throw the balance off again. Eek! More on that if it ends up happening.

Sean is recovering well...as long as his surgeon clears him at his appointment tomorrow, he'll be back at work full time on Wednesday. It's been SUPER nice having him home for 2 weeks! However, it's thrown off my routine at times. It'll be nice to be back into a routine.

catching up...randomness

2012-01-22T21:18:00.005-05:00

Yikes, it's been 3 days since I blogged?!?!!! There's been a lot going on, but I had no idea it had been 3 days! Look HERE...this day last year I wrote that post. It was our last night in our previous home. Ugh...I HATED that place! I love our home even more now than I did the first day we moved in and I LOVED it then! It may have something to do with the fact that there are more little bodies inhabiting this home than there were last year...not sure, but I know that when we leave this home (not anytime soon hopefully, but someday we'll HAVE to!), it will be hard and I will want to remain in this same neighborhood!

Sean is recovering amazingly well from his surgery. I must eat my words...he hasn't been that bad of a baby at all! He even took the boys out for a little over an hour today so I could do some turbo cleaning! It was wonderful and I forget how much I can get done when I'm not taking care of children in the process. :)

My voice has been almost gone and really raspy sounding these last 2 days because of a cold. Tate has looked at me at least once a day these last 2 days and said, "Mommy, you sound like Cassie." Ha. I kind of do, but I don't think her voice is this raspy all the time. It's driving me nuts!

We had DeCooks over last night and ate pizza and wings and just hung out. Lora and I even drank decaf with yummy creamer and whipped cream on top. MMMMM! :) It was nice to just hang out and the kids played and played and then CRASHED in the livingroom while watching a movie. Well, not Tate. However, he made James carry him to bed and then never made a peep again and went right to sleep. That's rare for him.

Have you ever drank Vanilla Coke Zero?!?!!!! Oh my...you should, it's Sean and my new favorite. YUM-O!

We got whole house DVR the other day...it's kind of amazing. Loving it!

Someone anonymously came over to our house to snowblow our walkway and sidewalks yesterday while we were not home. Seriously, SO NICE! And if whoever did it is reading this...you have NO IDEA how much that helped us. THANK YOU!!!

I think that is all for tonight...

6 years of blogging!

2012-01-19T08:00:00.001-05:00

Exactly 6 years ago today, I wrote my first post on this blog. I wrote how we had just sold our house and were moving out of Colo and back to Des Moines. Wow...lots has changed in our lives since then! I remember starting the blog and knowing that we were going to be adopting. We hadn't "officially" started the process yet, but had attended our first informational meeting at Bethany Christian Services. We knew that we wanted to have some sort of way to share our journey with our family and friends and keep them updated.

Starting this blog is something I will never regret and something I am SO thankful I did! I reference back to things on here all the time and have documented so many events, thoughts, feelings and stories that I would have likely otherwise forgotten. Sometimes I even read things I wrote and think, "I can't believe I wrote that...I don't remember feeling that way" or even sometimes I don't even recall writing certain posts! Ha. :)

In the last 6 years, Sean and I have (in no particular order) sold a house, lived in 5 different homes (yikes!), Sean has started and completed Nursing school, we've grown our family through adoption, made so many new friends, gained several nieces/nephews, moved from Colo to Des Moines and then from Des Moines to Davenport, I left a job to stay at home with Tate for a little over a year, I got a job at Wells Fargo, Sean got a his first nursing job and I left my job at Wells Fargo to stay home again, Tate started preschool, Sean's had 2 surgeries, Tate's had 1 surgery, I've still had NO surgeries, we have started and stopped the adoption process and then became a licensed foster family and began the adoption process again, our eyes have been opened to so many things that we were blind of 6 years ago, we have changed our spending habits, started living on a strict budget, started giving so much more to causes we believe in and completely healed from our pain of enduring infertility when we were blessed with the adoption world! Whew! That's a lot of things in 6 short years! And each of these events, plus 100's more are all documented on this blog. Almost every thought and fear and joy and pain and story is all right here...6 years of our life documented.

So grateful I chose to start this blog and have kept at it for 6 years. And so grateful that this blog has allowed me to meet so many of you wonderful cyber friends (some turned real friends!) and that all of you other family members and friends have continued to show an interest in our family.

Won't it be crazy when I can post about my blog's 10 year anniversary?!?! I honestly can say that I cannot imagine not having this blog, so I look forward to many more anniversaries here on A Peakin To Our Lives! :)

he lived through surgery...

2012-01-18T16:03:00.001-05:00

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I thought the date was for Tate...

2012-01-17T23:02:00.002-05:00

...I thought it would be good for him. It was. You know what? I think it was even better for me! Really, it was a blast! It made me feel like I need to take more time to spend with Tate...focus on him. It's so easy to get caught up in the day to day stuff that I blink and a month has gone by and I feel like I've hardly spent any time with Tate! We ran around and played like children...both of us! We went to Incredible Pizza. Tate ate like a horse, it was amazing. He hugged me about 20 times and flashed my the "I love you" sign and kissed and said I love you to me constantly. On the way there he said, "I am so excited to get to spend some time with you!". Ummmm, so sweet! He's heard me say that several times over this last week since we planned our date night.

We talked and talked and laughed and danced to the music that was playing and skipped around the whole place and held hands and just had the time of our lives for about 2 hours! I loved it as much (if not more) than him!

I mentioned that Daddy might take him on a date next. At first he said, "no, I only want to do dates with you, mommy", then out of no where a bit later he said, "maybe Daddy can take me on a breakfast date to IHOP"...Ha! He is too cute!

Can't wait for another date night with my little Tater Tot!

sick kids, surgery and a date!

2012-01-16T23:18:00.003-05:00

So it's been a rough last 2 nights! Kiddos awake puking, fevers, coughing, changing sheets, etc. I have to say, I actually laughed at one point...like out loud to myself. It was pretty comical. And despite the getting up in the night and dealing with all of that, I have been upbeat, energized, productive and positive throughout the days. I know that I am blessed to have these kids to care for and love on and adore and I know that someday I'll have more and maybe then they'll ALL be sick and I'll wish I only had 2 sick at one time! :)

1 is on the mend, the other is fine...just a nasty cough. Sean has been working nights so during all of this, I've been home to deal with it alone. Then, he sleeps all day and I've still managed to pick up the house and have dinner for him when he wakes up so he can eat before work. He is working just as hard as I am and I completely adore that man lately! I mean, I've alway adored him, but let's be real here...we've had our ups and downs. :) This last month he has been amazing and helpful and kind and it's almost like I've fallen in love with him all over again. Oh, and he has a very uncomfortable (becoming painful) hernia that he is getting surgically repaired on Wednesday and so I'll have another "kid" to take care of after that. He's off work for 2 weeks after surgery and I've been told that the first week can be rough. Now that I've bragged about him a bit, I will tell you that he is a total baby and I anticipate his recovery won't be fun for any of us. Sorry, babe...it's true!

On another note...I gained a few pounds over the holidays. I knew I would. I am okay with it...really. I needed to indulge a bit in order to make it. Ha. Anyway, I've already lost half of the weight I gained in the last few days. Whew. I'm really wishing I had time and the weather was nice enough to run though. I guess forgetting to eat half the time will do. :) Ha.

So Tate has had some major changes happen in his life since we embarked on a new journey in our family. He had a bit of a meltdown over the holiday, but by the way he's been acting since, I am thinking that was at least half because he was tired. Anyway, he deserves to be doted on a bit and to have all of my attention for a bit. He's been so amazing and sweet and I am just so proud of him. So tomorrow, we are going on a date! He cannot stop talking about it! He is so excited to go on a date with Mommy! I love it...I love that boy so much it hurts. Not sure yet what we're doing for our date though. I really want to do something he'll be totally excited about...maybe Incredible Pizza? Golden Corral? I know...he's strange, he LOVES Golden Corral! Ha. Bowling just he and I? A movie? I don't know yet. I'm sure I'll post all about it afterwards!

Goodnight all! Hopefully tonight I'll get uninterrupted sleep!!! I sure hope so. :)

What if?

2012-01-16T13:42:00.001-05:00

What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?

~Unknown

Yummy Salmon recipe...

2012-01-15T19:48:00.002-05:00

I posted a new recipe HERE on my recipe blog! It's been FOREVER and I am not necessarily ready to start regularly posting recipes there again (kinda busy these day!), but when I make something new and yummy, I'll put it on there. :)

So I made some yummy salmon tonight...I had to share...it was SO EASY and SO DELICIOUS!

Thankful...even on days like today!

2012-01-15T12:21:00.003-05:00

Ugh...aren't sick kiddos just the worst?! We have one sick baby in our house. Breaks my heart!

Tate has never been a puker. I think he's only had 2 times when he had a stomach bug and during each bug, I think he only threw up once. Last night was a different story. Yikes! Sorry for too much information, but there was way too much puke than should be coming out of a little guy! Praying Tate doesn't get it too!

So today we are having a pajama party! I am doing lots of laundry (thanks to puke all over the sheets!), cleaning and disinfecting. There are sweet sounds of our Praise Baby DVD's playing in the livingroom (love.) and Tate is being truly angelic today! When he wants to, he can be the sweetest kid in the world! I just wish he wanted to more often! Ha. :) Man I love these boys that fill my house!

This is what is playing in my livingroom right now...

I was born to worship You my King
I was born to lay down everything
To make my life a living sacrifice
so I'll sing for You
I was born to worship

I will live my life for You alone
I will make my very heart Your home
so Your glory all the world will see
and so I'll sing for You
I was born to worship

Halleluja, Halleluja, Halleluja
I was born to worship

So funny how I've heard that song a MILLION times, but the words seemed to be so much more loud and clear to me today. Man, it is so often easy to forget that I was born to make my life a living sacrifice and to live my life for Him ALONE! I love these little reminders He gives me. They're coming like a flood lately. :) I know I will be rewarded someday if I live my life for Him alone and make my life a living sacrifice...and this life may be hard the entire time I am on this earth, but knowing that I will have everlasting life in heaven is more of a reward than I could ever dream of.

So despite the germs and sickness in our house today, I am feeling overwhelmingly calm and taken care of and BLESSED! I say it all the time, I know...I am blessed, in the hard times and the good times.

At Christmas this year, my family did something for Jesus. Each family member wrote down on a peice of paper a "gift" we were going to give Jesus this year. Afterall, Christmas IS His birthday! We didn't share our gifts with each other, rather, we sealed them in a container to be looked at next year and see if we followed through with our gifts. I wrote down a couple of things I was going to do for Jesus this year. One of my gifts to Him was to remember to praise Him and thank Him even in the difficult or bad moments in my life. To thank Him when all I want to do is be angry or beg Him to make things better. Last night was a hard night, today is going to be difficult with 2 tired kiddos who don't feel great. However, all I can think of is how thankful I am that God gave us these 2 kids to raise and love and care for forever. So yes, even today and last night...we are SO BLESSED! I thought in these moments, I would have to remind myself to thank God and praise Him. Honestly though, it's like I put that "gift" to him in my heart and it's just come naturally. I didn't have to remind myself today that He is the reason these boys are in my life, that He has given me the incredible joy of raising them, that He is the reason for everything good and wonderful in my life. I know this. I am so thankful to him...especially today!
Happy Sunday!

I know this...I believe it fully...

2012-01-13T22:53:00.001-05:00

God is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine.

~Ephesians 3:20

Let's talk about STOVES!

2012-01-12T16:59:00.006-05:00

The purchase of a charcoal-efficient stove for a family in Haiti can allow them to breathe easier, cook faster, increase their disposable income, and potentially start a business or provide an education for their children. This is especially impactful in a country still dealing with extreme poverty and the devastating effects of an earthquake. All that for a $20 investment.

From The Adventure Project website: "These stoves are revolutionary, allowing families to breathe easier, cook faster, and increase their income by saving on fuel costs. The money saved is money used to send their kids to food, start small businesses, and eat more nutritious food. The stoves are produced locally in Port au Prince and sold by women entrepreneurs. It's a sustainable business model providing a life-saving product."

Today The Adventure Project is asking for supporters to step up their engagement and ask others to do the same. The hope of this particular campaign is that supporters like me each convince two friends to each buy a stove, hop on board and convince two of their friends to buy a stove. The impact would be pretty amazing and if anyone can do it, The Adventure Project can.

I know their are so many opportunities out there to give and I know many people struggle to trust certain organizations. I know the co-founder of The Adventure Project personally and your money is going where they say it's going!

$20 is nothing...it's not even a dinner out, it's not even half a tank of gas, please consider supporting this cause.

I am asking YOU...yes, I am talking to you. :) I have SO MANY amazing friends and family who read this blog and even wonderful people who have been so supportive to our family when we do not even know them outside of the cyber world. I know I will get more than 2 of my wonderful friends to support this as well. It's hard to ask you all for things, but I believe in this cause. DONATE HERE! And then let me know you did...maybe I'll do a little something for you. ;)

a peace

2012-01-11T13:57:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was eventful to say the least...mostly good events, but lots to think about. When I have something BIG on my mind or something big happens, I tend to call my closest friends and family and get their opinions. Honestly, I need to take a breath and stop doing that...I think I need to form an opinion of my own first. Live and learn, I guess! :)

My family and friends are amazing and all care for us more than we deserve. I know that any opinions or rash remarks are just given to us out of love...I DO know this. And I also know that as much as I want someone out there to make big decisions for us and just tell us what to do when we just don't know, no one can. At least no earthly being can. I know who is making the decisions in our life...why do I keep trying to make them on my own?!?! I know that when a door opens, we need to explore it and pray about it and God will give us the answer...I just forget in the heat of the moment sometimes. :) I also know that many times, the "right" decisions are definitely not the "easy" path. Boy do I wish it were! I think that so many times I have made a decision that would possibly make my life a lot harder or more stressful or more work, but the fullfillment I have gotten out of that decision being made much outweighed the risk. And I also know that I cannot count on anyone on earth to tell me what the right decision for our family is. No one knows aside from us. In fact, WE don't even know! Only God knows. I think we're handed these obstacles and big decisions as a way to be forced to lean on Him. I am leaning on Him more than ever right now. And somehow, in the midst of all of the worry and stress and fear, I feel a peace like I have never felt before. A peace that no matter what decisions we are making, God is in control and will help us. I am listening to Him more than I ever have before and it is so amazingly comforting.

We are so blessed by the support we have from so many people...even people who think we're out of our minds! :) As I've said many times before, I wish I could be completely open and honest about what's going on with us. I promise that I AM documenting all of these events in a private location to be posted on here when all is said and done. It may be 6 months from now, it may be a year from now, but I will share details when I can. Thank you for all of your love and support despite the fact that many of you don't know what's going on.

We can already tell that 2012 is going to be a crazy (crazy GOOD, we hope!) year for us!

Tate's Hawkeye Snowman...

2012-01-10T18:59:00.001-05:00

Tate was sent home with homework from preschool yesterday. He was instructed to decorate a snowman they had created at school. It said to be creative and do whatever you wanted. He wanted to make a Hawkeye Snowman. He picked out ALL of the pieces to it himself and glued them on. I asked him, "what do you think the Snowman is thinking?" He said, "He thinks that the Hawkeyes are SO COOL!" So we changed the wording up a bit...

He wrote it all by himself...

He was so proud!

I was too! :)

Birthdays Galore!

2012-01-10T12:24:00.001-05:00

On Sunday night, we went to Muscatine for a couple of hours to celebrate my sister's 35th birthday with her family and my parents.

This is our creative way of representing "35". :)

Ayla likes being naked...so this is normal...

And she takes blowing out the candles very seriously!

Happy Birthday to the best sister in the world! Really, she is the best!

January has become a SUPER BUSY birthday month in our family! Today is my niece Abby's 1st birthday and my mother-in-law's birthday...I believe she's 45(ish) ;) ;). Happy Birthday to both of you as well! We will also celebrate, Aunt Sarah's birthday, Tyler and Leah's birthdays and even that strange blob has a birthday in a few days! ;)

That's 7 Birthdays in January!!!

I love me a birthday celebration, so I'll take it. :)

Maybe I should write stuff...

2012-01-08T23:17:00.002-05:00

You know, instead of just posting when I have pictures. It's hard right now...I have SO MUCH I want to write and SO MUCH I have to say, but I just can't. It's frustrating.

This time in our life is such an important, wonderful time and I hate that I can't share about it all. I look forward to the day when I can. :)

This week will be busy...as is my life. Sean and I were speechless about a very generous gift we were given and also have an overwhelming amount of love and support that has been given to us by all of our loved ones. The blessings we are receiving are humbling and making us realize our downfalls and how much more we can and need to do for others.

On another note...my diet MUST be in full force again. For reals...I gained a few pounds over Christmas. Fully expected that to happen because I gave myself a break and WAY over indulged, but I am back at it now. Planning on joining the Y, not only will I use the Y for some exercise for myself, but I know the family will use it as well...the little ones especially! Hoping I can join and get to using that membership in the next month or so. It's just crazy busy right now!

We had the Burback kids last night. It was so much fun. Seriously, LOVE having them all stay! They are amazingly well behaved and sweet and loving and fun and hilarious. We went out to dinner and dessert and had a dance party when we got home, played some xbox, watched a movie, slept all over the livingroom and then had donuts for breakfast and played all day today. Oh my goodness it was a blast!

I have really been good about implementing a much earlier bedtime these last several days. And on that note...goodnight! :)

How could I forget this one?!

2012-01-08T16:49:00.001-05:00

Love this picture of Abby and her grandma!

Love it!

Abby's 1st Birthday Party!

2012-01-08T16:41:00.001-05:00

I cannot believe that in 2 days, it will have been a YEAR since Abby was born! It seems just like yesterday! She is so sweet! We celebrated her first birthday yesterday and she is just such a big girl, walking all over the place and cheesin' it up for the camera.

Love her...

And of course, she had an Abby Cadabby birthday party!

Poor thing only smashed her cake this much. Cake eating time fell right at nap time and Abby was DONE by then, so she fell asleep instead. :)

It wasn't long though when she woke up smiling!

Abby and Tyler...

Abby and her mommy...

All the kids had fun at the party at Happy Joe's!
Kayla...

Leah...

It was a great time spent with the Peakin Family!

Happy Birthday Abby!!!!

That darn blob...

2012-01-08T12:18:00.001-05:00

The Peakin Cousins

Tyler, Abby, Tate, Kayla, strange blob, Leah...

I must need to check and clean my lens. Sorry, just disregard the blob. ;)

Pure talent...

2012-01-08T11:44:00.001-05:00

Apparently, eye crossing is in the Peakin genes.

Leah is at the professional status...

Kayla is a professional in training...

Tate obviously doesn't have the Peakin genes...

At not even 1 year old, Abby will likely be a professional one day too...

Neglect and an update...

2012-01-06T11:46:00.003-05:00

I know, this blog is getting neglected. So many of the exciting things in our life right now, I just can't share. :( Boo for confidentiality. Ha.

Tate is struggling a bit with some of our family changes as well as his return to preschool. Could you pray for him?

Sean is having hernia surgery on January 18th and his body is wishing it were sooner. He'll be off for 2 weeks after his surgery. Should be interesting and different having him home with us all the time. I'll enjoy it. :)

We're getting whole house DVR...totally excited about this. :) It's the little things, people.

My house is a disaster...I have a feeling this won't be changing anytime soon as I still have much to get the hang of due to our family changes that have occurred. I'll figure it out...hopefully sometime in 2012 I'll figure it out.

I honestly don't know how I'm going to be able to do my photography stuff anymore. Not sure how I'll manage to find editing time. This makes me a little sad and concerned. We'll see if Jennie Peakin Photography is still up and running later this spring. I am praying I'll be able to figure something out to make it work, but in this moment, I am concerned it might be too much right now. :(

Tate got an iPod for Christmas and he is ADDICTED! He has his headphones on constantly and dances all over the house. He's so cute...he loves to dance almost more than anything else.

It feels like spring here. For reals...I wore a 3/4 length sleeved shirt yesterday with no coat and was comfortable. I would be fine with no snow this year...totally fine.

My showers are becoming shorter and fewer. I like long showers. :(

We have the best family and friends ever. Period.

I just couldn't resist...

2012-01-03T01:46:00.001-05:00

Just act like you don't see the weird blob in this picture...okay? Okay. ;)

All of my parents grandkids...

It is virtually impossible to find a time when all of the kids are awake, let alone looking at the camera and not crying! This is pretty much the best we could do!

From left to right: Our Tater Tot and the strange blob that you don't notice, Bode, Brigg, Boone, Lani, Ayla. :)

Booner...

2012-01-03T01:43:00.001-05:00

His curls, his dimples, his persistence, his dancing...oh my goodness he is adorable and we love him so much! Every time we see him he's changed a ton! He's at that age that change happens quickly and we cannot wait to see what he's like the next time we see him!

I just had to share these pictures...

Who I rung in 2012 with...

2012-01-03T01:14:00.001-05:00

Unfortunately, Sean had to work at the crack of dawn on New Years Day, so he went home to get to bed early and missed out on the night time festivities at my parent's house.

This was our crew (after all the kids were asleep downstairs)...the ones I rung in the new year with (aside from a certain 10 year old who was playing photographer).

I love each of these people more than I could ever describe in words...

This may be a bit more realistic...

Or maybe this one...

And Brenda's face just cracks me up in this one!

With a toast and lots of kisses, 2012 began...

2011 was good to us...GREAT to us actually.

We are not deserving of all of the amazing blessings we have received this past year and certainly don't deserve any more in 2012 either, but are prayerfully looking forward to what is in store in 2012!

Happy New Year to all of you!

Girls Day...New Years Eve (before the festivities!)

2012-01-03T01:00:00.001-05:00

Cassie, Brenda and I spent the afternoon of New Years Day together chatting, laughing, going out to lunch and getting some drinks...oh, and at the tattoo shop. ;)

I was the good one who didn't get anything done! :) I wanted to though, not gonna lie. Ha.

An old highschool friend (who covered my foot tattoo recently) works here...

He is an amazing artist and did an unbelievable cover of one of Brenda's tattoos and then did an awesome tattoo on my sister too!

You can't tell in this picture, but she got her nose pierced too. It's totally cute and her.

It was so much fun to spend the afternoon together without husbands or kids. :) And we may have been completely annoying to Aaron (the tattoo artist), but we had a blast.

So glad I got some time with Cassie and Brenda...love you guys!

Stewart Christmas 2011

2012-01-03T00:51:00.001-05:00

We celebrated Christmas with my side of the family starting on Friday when Chris, Brenda, Bode and Boone arrived in the afternoon. The celebration extended through the weekend when we brought in 2012 all together as well. It was such a wonderful weekend!

Chris and I when I forced a picture on him right after he woke up from a snooze...

I couldn't pick between these next 2 pics. Almost all the kids got Owl jammies and so we captured a few of them in a picture. Oh my I love each of these kiddos so much and they are all just so sweet!!!

Tate got an Orange iPod from my parents...he was ecstatic! He loves music and dancing and cannot wait to listen to his iPod with his new Iron Man headphones he got with it. :)

Happy boy!

We laughed SO MUCH this weekend. We played board games, card games, ate way too much great food, talked, reminisced, laughed and laughed and laughed some more. The kids played non-stop all weekend and got along so well! We went bowling and had a blast, the kids built forts out of pillows and chairs, played XBox Kinect and the Wi, all slept on mattresses and couches in the living room and even had a sleep over at Cassie and Paul's one night and fell asleep in their living room by the fire. I didn't want the weekend to end...none of us did!

Peakin Christmas 2011

2011-12-28T00:19:00.001-05:00

Monday we celebrated Christmas with the Peakin side in Cedar Rapids. It was such a great, relaxing time. The kids (that title includes Sean, Mike and Travis) played outside, we ordered food from HyVee so there was no food preparation stress or mess, we chatted, we just hung out. It was great!

I didn't take many pictures at our Peakin Christmas. It wasn't for lack of cuteness surrounding us, that's for sure! I may have had my hands full taking care of some kiddos. ;)

I did manage to get a few cute pics though. :)

My cutie pie neice, Abby Cadabby!

Tate and Tyler spent a lot of time playing on their 3DS's. They both got MarioKart and loved it!

Tyler, Leah and Tate...

The kids loved their gifts!

Leah Lou...

Sweet Kayla...

Tate opening his MarioKart game from Nana and Papa!

All of us kids went together and got Pat and Linda a huge (20x30) canvas of our family to hang on their wall! We were so excited to give it to them. I think they liked it... :)

Thank you, Sara and Travis for hosting us!

From Cedar Rapids, Mike and Sarah, Leah and Kayla and our family headed to Dubuque to surprise the kiddos with an overnight stay at Grand Harbor Hotel and Waterpark! They were all over the moon thrilled and were bouncing off of the walls when we arrived! We ordered Pizza Hut right when we arrived and then headed down to the waterpark. It was so much fun to hang out and let the kids go wild. :) And go wild they did! I was EXHAUSTED by 9pm and was asleep before any of the adults. :) This is unheard of for me! We awoke bright and early and all headed down to the restaurant to eat breakfast before heading back to the waterpark. Believe it or not, I didn't take A SINGLE picture while at the hotel! I was pretty busy feeding, holding, changing a little one and doing a bit of napping. :) It didn't even cross my mind to pull the camera out! Darn it! Hopefully Sarah got a few pics of the night!

Upon our return from Dubuque, it was "get my house organized extraveganza". It was embarrassing how my house looked. I am feeling so much better now that things are put away. I haven't put Christmas away yet though! The tree and decorations will stay up until after the new year. :)

What a special Christmas Day!

2011-12-27T23:58:00.001-05:00

I am not even sure how to go about writing about our Christmas Day. It was incredibly special and memorable for so many reasons. One reason, is one of those things I cannot be specific about, but what I will say is that we got a new addition to our family and we are over the moon about it! :)

This Christmas, we spent the afternoon with Tate's birth family. We always celebrate Christmas with his birth father Brandon who we love and adore as well as Tate's Grandparents Marsha and Gary. We love all of these incredible people so much...they are our family. This year we got to add some family to the celebration and we were so excited about it! Brandon's brother and his wife and son joined us this year and Tate finally got to meet his Uncle Austin (Brandon's brother), Aunt Jill (Brandon's sister-in-law) and his cousin Ayden! Oh my goodness, it was amazing!

I am in love with these 2 pictures!!!

Tate with Grandma Shingledecker...

Tate and his cousin Ayden. These 2 had a great time playing together, laughing, talking and just hanging out. It's like they'd always known each other. It was so fun to compare and contrast (although there wasn't much contrasting to do as Tate and Ayden are so much alike!) Tate and Ayden. We found out that Tate and Ayden have the same hands...they got them from Brandon and Austin! Also they have many of the same habits. It was so nice to just chat and have a great time...it honestly felt like we had all been family for years!

Tate with his Aunt, Uncle and cousin!

There may have been a gift or 2 exchanged at this little gathering as well. ;) Tate was ECSTATIC about his Angry Birds shirt from Brandon! Seriously, he immediately removed his Hawkeye shirt and put on his new "favorite shirt ever"! :)

And he has been a guitar playing fanatic since he opened his Paper Jamz from Grandma and Grandpa!

I don't know, maybe he'll be a rock star some day!

It was an incredible afternoon spent with amazing people and eating way too much yummy food! Tate is so blessed to have so many people who love him so much!

Then, from this Christmas gathering we headed directly to get our biggest Christmas gift ever! ;) It was an unbelievable day. Emotional, wonderful, memorable...wow.

We will never forget Christmas Day 2011!

Santa came!

2011-12-27T23:47:00.001-05:00

Christmas Eve night, Tate and I arrived home around 10:30pm from Des Moines. Sean and I put Tate to bed in our bed so that he couldn't get up in the morning and run out to see what Santa got him before we could catch him. :) After he went to bed, we got everything ready.

Santa enjoyed the special cookies Tate made for him and even left Tate a note. Tate was very excited about the fact that Santa left him a note!

I love the morning bed head and sleepy eyes while getting his Santa gifts! These little Angry Birds bean bags may be Tate's new favorite things...really, he LOVED these. This boy is easy to please!

He's going to be learning some new moves now that he has Dance Central 2!

After getting his stocking stuff and Santa gifts, we opened the gifts we had gotten for each other. Then, it was time to get ready and head off to Muscatine for Christmas with some very special people! :)

(And I can't NOT mention that we had 4 stockings this year!!!! YAY!) :)

Christmas Eve in Des Moines

2011-12-27T23:22:00.002-05:00

Sean had to work this Christmas Eve and Cassie and her family were in Storm Lake for the Burback Christmas and Chris, Brenda and family hadn't arrived in Iowa yet. Tate, Mom, Dad and I decided to celebrate in Des Moines with my grandpa, Baldersons, Adams' and Gehlings. It was a small group, but so much fun. Tate, Olivia and Jazzy played great together and it was so nice to get to chat with everyone.

My Grandpa is so sweet and always so proud of his family...

Little Jazzy is so gorgeous! My camera liked her. :)

Olivia and Jazzy with Great Grandpa Clodfelder...

Tate with Great Grandpa Clodfelder...

Grandpa with his 3 girls...

And they can still be silly for pictures. Guess Grandpa didn't get the memo that this was the one he was supposed to make a funny face in...ha. :)

Olivia and Jazzy...

My little poser...

Tate and Jazzy...

And the kids waited patiently for present opening. Tate said, "Look Mommy, I am very special!" Oh my goodness...

Mom got the girls super cute purses filled with all kinds of fun stuff. They were happy. :)

Tate got lots of cars and guys and an airplane and a Memory game...he loved everything!

And he got these too. Hilarious!

The time with the family was too short, but so nice! Thank you, Cathy for hosting!

bursting with love

2011-12-22T17:00:00.003-05:00

God never stops amazing me with His plans. He definitely knows what we need even when we thought we needed something different. I am so silly to think I know what is best for me. I don't know how to stop trying to control my life! My life is so much more fullfilled by His plans than it would have been with my own.

I am just feeling so incredibly blessed right now. Even though I have worry about how our life may be playing out (when we thought we wanted it to play out differently), I just know that what we're doing right now is "right" for us and JUST what we should be doing. I know that Sean feels the same way. And yet again, God surprised us with what we were handed. And though the road ahead may be bumpy, we are ready to take this path layed before us with gusto!

And I honestly didn't know my heart could love this much. I am bursting. What an incredible Christmas this will be! God is always good, even when times are hard, He is ALWAYS good!

Preschool Christmas Program

2011-12-22T14:38:00.002-05:00

Tate's preschool Christmas program was yesterday. He and Ava were so sweet and did a great job...it was one of the cutest things I've ever seen!

He was soooo proud!

Ava did everything perfectly. She knew to stand straight and tall and did all the gestures for the songs perfectly. She has an amazing memory and it showed in her performance! So cute!

When the show was over, Tate apparently wasn't done...

Ava's Grandma Erika and Granny Linda were there to watch...

Tate was so proud of his art projects he had created...

It was such a cute little production they put on. I am just so happy with Tate's preschool and his teachers...they are amazing!

Cookies for Santa...

2011-12-22T10:09:00.002-05:00

We had Lora, James, Ava and Chloe over last Sunday for a little Christmas gathering. Lora brought the fixins for cookies to decorate and so the kiddos made their cookies for Santa. They had a blast!

The cookies before they were decorated by the kids...

Gorgeous... ;)

All the kids were pretty proud of their work...

They took the job very seriously...

And they maybe did a little taste testing too. :)

Thanks, Lora for bringing everything over so the kiddos could do this!

The Cookie Exchange...

2011-12-21T02:46:00.001-05:00

I hosted a cookie exchange tonight. It was SO MUCH FUN!!! I had a bunch of lovely ladies over and we mingled and laughed and drank wine and coffee and just had a great time.

And the spread was kind of gigantic, and beautiful!

We even had to pull out a 2nd table to fit all of the goodies...

We ate and drank and were merry. :)
Everyone ended up bringing home tons of cookies and treats to share!

I think I may have to make this a tradition!

Thank you so much to each of you for coming...it was so wonderful to have many of you finally meet as I have become friends with each of you through different connections.

Enjoy your cookies!

Sleep is overrated...

2011-12-19T22:02:00.002-05:00

It totally is. I mean, who has time to sleep?! I am pretty thrilled about all of the excitement in our lives and household right now, but more excitement = less sleep.

My cookie exchange is tomorrow. My house is a mess, I don't have all of my treats made yet, I haven't bought all of the food and drink, nor can I decorate until my house is clean...OH, and I have a couple of appointments tomorrow and so I'll be out of the house from 2-4pm. So it's looking like sleep isn't an option at this point. :)

I am still smiling somehow. Just so blessed and cannot wait to have a bunch of lovely ladies over for some drinks, chatting and goodie exchanging tomorrow night!

a photoshoot with my boys...

2011-12-19T00:44:00.001-05:00

We've been pretty happy campers these last few days!

After getting some wonderful news on Friday, Tate asked me out of no where to take some pictures of he and Sean. I never would turn down that opportunity!!!

So Tate did all of the "posing" himself.

We were cracking up!!!

(I must disclose that all of these pictures are completely unedited...sorry about the poor quality!)

I got lots of handsome boys to look at in my house! :)

Change of plans...

2011-12-18T01:13:00.002-05:00

So here's the deal. When I posted about making this blog private, my mailbox was flooded with people wanting to be on our "invited readers" list. Oh my...I had no idea so many of you read our blog! Long story short, this blog will remain open. :)

I have (along with the suggestion of my genius sister) devised another plan. So, for now my blog will be like it's always been. Just the typical stuff, pictures of Sean, Tate and I and my thoughts recorded. I will be unable to disclose several things that must remain confidential until all of the proper legal steps have been taken. This could be possibly several months or a year even down the road...we just don't know. However, I am documenting the confidentail "stuff" elsewhere and will have it saved to be posted once everything is said and done.

I feel this is the best way to handle the blog at this time. I do want to say that I did have several people write me stating that they have been contemplating becoming a foster family or adopting. Please, NEVER hesitate to email me any questions you have! These topics are amongst my FAVORITE to talk/write about and if you know me, you know that I love to share my experiences and would be happy to answer any questions you have! Also, now that I know so many of you are reading...I hope to see you commenting more!!! I love me some comments! :)

All I will disclose at this time in regard to our situation is that we are OVER THE MOON happy and cannot wait to see what's in store for our family going forward! Lots of love is filling our home. :)

Chaos Ensued...

2011-12-16T23:56:00.003-05:00

So our lives changed today. It is good...so so good. From about 10:30am on, the day was out of control. Oh how I wish I could disclose details!

I think I have made the decision to make this blog private for the time being. Please email me at japeakin at hotmail dot com to request to be an "invited reader". The blog will not always be private, but it could stay private for several months. I write this blog as a documentation of our lives and I just can't see leaving certain things out and then not being able to look back on what we were truly doing at this point in our lives. I need to document it. I hope you all can understand this.

I will leave it open through Christmas, but will make it private after the holidays.

Santa Pictures...

2011-12-15T17:43:00.001-05:00

When James took Tate and his girls to Monkey Joe's last Sunday, Santa was there!

They even took pictures of the kids with him and then emailed the pictures today. :)

It cracks me up that Tate is a sweaty mess in these pictures because that's just what he does when he plays at Monkey Joe's...he sweats.

Apparently he asked for a firetruck. Ya, I had no idea he wanted a firetruck. Also, he has a firetruck already...that he never plays with. He says it's because it's too little. Um, ok.

Kinda glad that the annual sitting on Santa's lap picture was taken care of without me having to do it! :)

Thanks James and Monkey Joe's!

it went well and privacy

2011-12-15T00:58:00.005-05:00

I don't think our meeting could have gone better. So here's the deal, we wait. Shocker, right?! Ya, not so much. We've done all we can do...now we wait and see what happens. Hopefully we'll know more by Friday. :)

On another note...Privacy.

I am torn. I am not going to lie...I don't like reading blogs that are "private". I mean, I like reading them, but I guess I'm too lazy to log in every time I want to read them. So as you all know, even when details with our "situation" are smoothed out, I will not be able to disclose any information or post pictures on this blog until an adoption is finalized. This could take several months or even a year...who knows. I am toying around with the idea of making this blog private so that I can post pictures and details and all of that fun stuff. It would only be open to "invited readers". I know I have a lot of readers that I don't "know" and I read LOTS of blogs written by people I don't know. I love getting inspiration, encouragement, ideas, laughs, smiles and joy from these blogs. I would be so disappointed if many of them went private. I don't know what to do. I do write this blog for me and my family so that I have a record of our lives to look back on. However, I have "met" so many people through my blog that I never would have met if it had been private. I may try to keep it open and just avoid using names or pictures of faces in the beginning and see how that works...or maybe I won't. I don't know. I guess I just want you all to know that if my blog goes private, it will only be temporary. You would be able to email me a request to be added to the list of invited readers if that happened, but you would have to log in each time you wanted to read it. Unfortunately, with Blogger, you cannot just make certain posts private and some public. I wish I could because that would solve this issue. I have no plans of changing from Blogger so I can do that though because I love that this is the blog I've had since day 1. It makes it so easy for me to go through my archives that way.

I just wanted to give you all pre-warning and hope you understand if this is the decision I make for the time being.

a meeting

2011-12-14T09:02:00.003-05:00

We are hoping that these next 24 hours or so will bring an end to the stress and anxiety about what may be for our little family. We have an important meeting today at 3pm...a meeting that could determine where things go from here. We have a peace about it. We know that whatever is meant to be will be. We just don't like all of these unknowns. We really want to move forward from this no matter the outcome.

Again, please understand that I cannot disclose details. We appreciate all of the emails, texts and messages letting us know you're praying! We love that you all have been so understanding of my vague details and still continue to support and pray for us. We are so blessed by all of you!

Lora's Birthday Dinner...

2011-12-12T21:11:00.001-05:00

Lora's birthday is Wednesday...she'll be 28(ish) ;).

We invited the DeCooks over tonight for a birthday dinner to celebrate her. It was so fun!

We had ham and asparagus and deviled eggs and potatoes and rolls and cake.

Red Velvet Cake with cream cheese frosting. Um, it was good. Really, I forgot how much I like Red Velvet Cake!

The beautiful birthday girl...

Thank goodness they took the leftover cake home with them or I could have been in trouble!

We even lit candles and sang Happy Birthday!

And I have a feeling I know what she wished for...

...a Coach purse...

...just sayin'. ;)

I love this girl. She is family to me, she is there for me, she deserves so much more this birthday than a ham dinner and Red Velvet Cake.

Maybe a Coach purse???? Hello Lora's family...she wants a Coach purse! ;)

My Mom's Birthday Celebration...

2011-12-12T10:01:00.001-05:00

We headed to Muscatine yesterday to have a little family celebration for Mom's birthday. Just dinner and some Left Right Center (a fun game that you should have if you don't already!). Ayla insisted on having her Daddy help her make a cake for Nana. So they did...

Ayla decorated it all by herself...and placed the candles. I love that clump of candles in the middle of the cake. AND, it created quite the inferno!

She was proud. :)

We sang Happy Birthday and almost burnt the house down... ;)

Mom made her wish...

We all gathered around...

And ate cake...

This was birthday party #2 for Tate in the last 2 days. And it's birthday party #3 tonight for Lora! He is so happy to be eating so much cake! Ha. :)

My mom's birthday isn't until Wednesday (same day as Lora's!), so Happy EARLY Birthday, Mom. We love you so much and are so blessed to call you Mom and Nana!

Tate's "other" elf...

2011-12-11T11:32:00.001-05:00

Tate has become obsessed with the whole Christopher Pop-In-Kins Elf idea. He turned his Quincy into an elf now...meaning, he puts Quincy in various spots around the house and calls him an elf. It's hilarious because he is actually super creative in where he puts him! I found him hanging on Tate's bedroom door (pictured above) a few minutes ago. Ha. :-)

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Ava's 5th Birthday Party...

2011-12-11T01:36:00.001-05:00

We celebrated Ava's 5th birthday at her house tonight with a fun party!

It was Hello Kitty themed and so cute!

The birthday girl...

James asked me to take a picture of him with the "son he'll never have". Ha. He and Lora are expecting their 3rd daughter in March!!! :)

The birthday girl with mom and dad...

Singing Happy Birthday to Ava...

Blowing out the candles.

Deep breath...

and blow...

Tate was thinking, "FINALLY! I've been waiting to eat some frosting!"

This picture almost makes me gag...he ate ALL of the frosting first and then the whole piece of cake...and it was a HUGE piece!

And Chloe got sugared up too...such a cutie!

It's always so special to be included in the DeCook's family gatherings. We really do feel like part of the family.

Tomorrow James is taken the girls and Tate to Monkey Joe's for another round of Ava's birthday! Tate can hardly wait... :)

I hate rollercoasters...

2011-12-10T23:21:00.002-05:00

I always have. And adoption/foster care is a rollercoaster, that's for sure. You're down and waiting, then you're up and happy and have hope, then you're plans come crashing down, but wait there's new hope and you think it's almost over, but all you can do is fear that there is going to be another loop or twist or free fall right around the corner that you weren't expecting. I am drained and emotional and stressed and frustrated, but at the same time I'm hopeful and excited and anxious. I'm going to have to get used to this...

letting go...

2011-12-10T09:20:00.003-05:00

I believe that God is looking down at us as we take our adoption journey and he's shaking his head and saying to himself, "stop trying to control this, stop thinking that you have any control over this. Have I not shown you enough that I am in control and not you?" He has, He has shown us through the course of our marriage several times that we have no control. Why do I keep trying to take that control back? When I do that, it just sets me up for disappointment when things don't go how I am envisioning they will go. When the direction of our path changes, it's not always a bad thing, but sometimes it seems like it is just because I'm so focused on one direction that the shift is stressful and overwhelming.

That's kind of what happened yesterday. I am fine...we are fine. We are more than fine. We are letting go and letting God take care of the details. I know that we will have to remind ourselves over and over of that, but that's what we'll do each time we try to take the control back. If you are reading this and KNOW me well, you know that my inability to disclose every little detail is excruciating for me. I am kind of an open book type of gal. :) Most of you know this about me. This process is definitely teaching me to be more tight lipped, which is definitely something that will be good for me! :)

Please understand that I cannot disclose any details about many of the things I will be writing about for some time now. I know it's frustrating to many of you...and trust me, it's frustrating for me too! If you can pray for us without knowing details, please do. We have a long road ahead of us and anticipate many twists and turns along the way. Please pray our hearts are prepared for everything that is to come.

All of this being said, I will repeat myself again. We have the most incredibly supportive network of friends and family. Oh my goodness, these challenges have a way of really making me feel like the most blessed woman in the world. So blessed to have each of you...really!

silly little elf...

2011-12-09T09:15:00.002-05:00

Christopher Pop-In-Kins got into the fruitsnacks last night. Tate thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. HA. He's pretty easy to please! And he is no longer in fear of Christopher...in fact, he LOVES him! He talks to him all day. It's pretty funny. :-) And I must say, I love Christopher too...Tate is very aware of the fact that Christopher reports back to Santa each night about his behavior and it has made a huge difference in Tate's behavior!!! Yay for that!

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God is GOOD!

2011-12-08T19:17:00.003-05:00

In the storm of the last few days, I never knew that I would wake up this morning and have the day that we had. We got the officiall word that our home study was APPROVED and we are LICENSED!!!! Oh my goodness, God is so GOOD! We "officially" submitted our request to adopt a certain little 2 1/2 year old boy we've been praying about for 3 months now. This doesn't mean that we will get to adopt him in the end, but I have hope (and a little feeling that I hope is right!) that he will be ours forever. If not, we know that our child(ren) is out there. Now we wait...it could be weeks or even a month or so before we know much more. I would love to give all the details, but until everything is final, I just can't. Thank you so much for all of your support and prayers! The ball is rolling now and for that we are so so grateful!

Tate's Solo Dance...

2011-12-08T12:59:00.000-05:00

Ava's Solo Performance...

2011-12-08T12:54:00.000-05:00

This song is totally inappropriate for a 5 year old, I know. I couldn't resist posting this though!

a skip in my step...

2011-12-08T09:46:00.003-05:00

Today is the first day in 6 days that I haven't woke up with a headache! I am feeling all of the prayers going up because I have a renewed sense of hope today. :) And really friends, you are all amazing. I certainly was not expecting such an outpouring of concern for me when I blogged (and facebooked) my down in the dumps posts these last few days, but that's just what I got. I have the best group of wonderful women who surround me and are there for me and it makes me want to be a better friend to all of you! Really, you all are so appreciated...family and friends new and old!

I apologize if I was unable to respond to an email, text or voicemail you sent me. I will get to it. Honestly, I just couldn't keep up. I will respond today to you all, I promise. :) Many many thanks to all of you for reaching out to me.

I have a lot to do today and am so happy to feel refreshed and ready to take the day on! We have birthdays to celebrate and a dinner to host and I have some fun preparations for a fun party I am hosting for the holidays. In addition to that, I have some Christmas shopping to do still. I keep seeing and hearing people saying that they're so ready to be done Christmas shopping or are so happy they are already done. I don't get happy when I'm done...I LOVE Christmas shopping! This year we are keeping the gifts to a minimum so I don't have THAT much shopping to do anyway. We've been working at getting to this for the last few years...really celebrating the meaning of Christmas and having it not be about the gifts. It's going to be a wonderful Christmas, I just know it! :)

I am off to tackle this list now that I feel like I have a bit of a skip in my step! One of the items is to get a couple funny videos I took of Ava and Tate yesterday on youtube to post on here...so check back later to see them! :)

no pictures today, just a bunch of words...

2011-12-07T10:46:00.004-05:00

I have a few new readers out there that I've gotten messages/emails from in the last week! Hello everyone! It's so funny that people stop here to read my blog...I am kind of boring! I just think it's because Tate is so stinkin' cute...I'd love to come here and see his face everyday too. ;)

So onto another boring update...

I have had a headache for DAYS...I am talking, since I woke up in NYC on Saturday morning! It was BAD for the first few days and definitely progressed to the migraine point by Monday afternoon. It finally went away after about 72 hours of misery and I was so relieved on Monday night to feel so much better! Then, I woke up Tuesday morning to it AGAIN! It went away by Tuesday in the late afternoon and then I woke up with it again TODAY!!! This is crazy...I've never had a headache this persistent. I've tried Ibuprofen, sleeping, drinking lots of water, drinking lots of caffeine, I don't know what to do. Frustrating...

It seems that everyone is talking about almost having their Christmas shopping all done! Yikes! I've barely just begun!!! I haven't wrapped a single present and when I go out to shop, I am just overwhelmed and don't end up buying anything. Are you? I know one thing I'm going to buy this year...a STOVE or two! You should look into it too! Affordable and life saving...they really make a difference. Go HERE to learn more!

You know what "writer's block" is? Ya, I have "photographer's block" I think. Really. I haven't pulled my camera out once since our return from NYC. I have snapped a couple of pictures with my phone, but that's been the extent of my photography. I don't know if it's going to get much better this week, but I promise to take pictures this weekend! Tate's BFF, Ava DeCook has her birthday party on Saturday, so there is sure to be lots of photographs taken for that. :)

I decided to take Tate and Ava to the matinee on Friday afternoon. Not sure which movie yet, but I am thinking Arthur Christmas. HOWEVER, I am dying to see The Muppets so maybe we'll do that instead. They are so excited and so am I. I love those two sweeties...and tell me again when they turned 5?!?!!! Ugh.

I just drank a vat of coffee and am debating on brewing another pot. I mean, I am at a loss at this point about what to do to rid myself of this headache! Staring at the computer screen is probably not helping the situation. I bet people had a lot less headaches before computers were around!

I ordered our Christmas cards last night and wrote our Christmas letter! Now, I need to go pick up the cards and print our letter. I swear that the hardest part of getting Christmas cards out is addressing and stuffing the envelopes! That is my least favorite part!

I had a frustrating day yesterday. I cannot disclose details, but what I can say is that God is faithful and I am so glad I have Him to lean on. In addition, He has put amazing family and friends in my life who I can go to in times I need to vent. Sometimes it takes difficult times like this to really appreciate what I do have and WHO I do have in my life...and man, I am one blessed person! Adoption is never smooth and easy and without worry, stress, concern, fear, lots of waiting and lots of bumps in the road...it just isn't. We know this, we were prepared for this, we were willing to dive into all of this to grow our family. Really though, my frustration yesterday was all brought on by myself...my own impatience and selfishness. Nothing earth shattering happened to change the course of our path we are walking...it just got a little bumpy yesterday. :( I don't like bumps, but I think God knows that I need to experience those bumps. It's so true, the C.S Lewis quote I have written at the top of my right sidebar, "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.". He was screaming to me yesterday. I needed to be reminded by Him that He is in control...not me. I am never in control no matter how much I let myself believe I am at times. Thank you God for reminding me yet again! :)

And with that, I wish you all a wonderful day!

Christopher Pop-In-Kins

2011-12-07T00:03:00.002-05:00

Christopher Pop-In-Kins has made an appearance at our home. Do you know who he is? He's a different version of Elf on a Shelf. We introduced Tate to him tonight. He was a bit disturbed at the thought of a creepy little guy watching everything he does and running around the house at night to find a new place to hide each day. He said, "I want you to take him back. I don't want him here!" After a bit of convincing, he decided it was okay for Christopher to stay. :)

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not a whole lot to write about...

2011-12-05T16:40:00.002-05:00

I cut Tate's hair today, I took about 2 inches off and you can hardly tell! It was longer than I think it's ever been! :)

I had a migraine today. It was miserable, but it is gone now...whew!

It is freezing out...I don't like these temps at all.

That's it for tonight...

Hmmm...what should I talk about now?

2011-12-04T22:18:00.002-05:00

Now that we are home from NYC, I feel totally drained. Not a whole lot to talk about as I'm sure you all are completely over my constant check in's from NYC! Ya, it was a lot, but I had to document it all because it was just too amazing not to.

So now we are home, I've had a headache since I woke up in NYC on Saturday morning and I CANNOT shake it! I've taken more Ibuprofin than I'd like to admit. Ugh. I honestly just haven't felt right in general these last 2 days...hopefully it passes soon.

Tate is in desperate need of a haircut...just a little one though. :P I like it long, but he really can't even see at this point. So tomorrow morning (hopefully) I'll squeeze him in for a trim. :) Then, he is so excited to get back to preschool...it's been almost 2 weeks since he's been there!

He had the most amazing time at his Nana and Papa P's house. I have to give a shout out to them...he came home so excited to show us all of the Christmas crafts he had made there! And really, they were so adorable! He's so blessed to have such an amazing Nana and Papa! Thanks Pat and Linda SO SO MUCH!

We ventured out to Hy-Vee and Wal-Mart today for grocery shopping, then some friends invited us to meet them for lunch and then we went to Muscatine because my parents returned from Florida today, so we met up with my sister's family there and all had dinner and caught up. That was pretty much our day. My clothes are still in the suitcase and need unpacked. That will have to happen tomorrow. I was also to tired to make our Aldi trip today, so that will have to happen tomorrow too.

For now, I am off to bed. So tired...

New York City (part 2)

2011-12-04T09:38:00.004-05:00

Continuing on with Chelsea Market.

This was just an archway we walked through all decorated with lights...

And the market with TONS of gorgeous, fresh produce!

It was so beautiful and I couldn't help myself from taking lots of pictures!

Just steps outside of Chelsea Market, there is an entrance onto the High Line. The High Line is like a pathway/park raised above the street. It was created fairly recently on the old, raised railway that hasn't been in use for years. It was so gorgeous and we spent a lot of time walking along it...

I loved this part of the High Line...it feels for a moment like you aren't in this large city anymore...

There are even some grassy areas like this on the High Line...you don't see grass like this anywhere in the city!

From the High Line, we decided to go down by Wall Street. When we got there, we discovered that Trinity Church stands right at the end of Wall Street (have you seen National Treasure? If so, this is the church they go into at the end of the movie) and it is so gorgeous. Around the outside is this super old cemetery...

There were hydrangeas everywhere and hydrangeas are my FAVORITE flower!

We went into the church and for some reason, the beauty and the atmosphere in there made me emotional. It was so impressive!

And honestly, the outside is just as impressive as the inside!

From the front door of the church, you look right down Wall Street...so we occupied Wall Street for a bit. ;) I had no idea that Wall Street is actually not a street that cars drive down. Weird!

I loved that there were cops on horses here!

This was taken standing in the middle of Wall Street about halfway down. You can see Trinity Church right at the end of it...

And this is what's at the other end of Wall Street.

The East River and the Brooklyn Bridge! We relaxed here for a bit and enjoyed the gorgeous weather and made our decision as to where we would go next...

And we decided Little Italy and Chinatown were our next stops.

We LOVED Little Italy...LOVED! It was so busy and decorated boldly for the holidays. The men called me "Bella" and I loved that. ;)

We ate dessert, drank coffee and Chianti at this little Cafe...we sat outside because it was so beautiful out.

This was Sean sitting at our table at this cafe...

And me.

I would totally live in Little Italy...

Then, from Little Italy we walked through Chinatown on the way to the subway to head back to the hotel. It was 5pm and the crowds were ridiculous so I opted to put my camera away from around my neck and lock it safely in my camera bag, so I don't have any "real" pictures of Chinatown (just on my phone).

I don't think I can get into words how wonderful this trip was, but I hope the pictures give you a taste.

Can't wait to go back!

New York City (part1)

2011-12-03T22:07:00.003-05:00

I have so many pictures to post that I will need to do 2 posts. :)

The trip was nothing short of amazing...it was beyond what we expected. It was such a special trip...the trip of a lifetime for us.

I'll write more later. For now, here are some pictures.

In the middle of Central Park...

Just one of the beautiful bridges in Central Park...

"The Mall" in Central Park is the really wide walkway you see a lot of times in movies. This is looking down it. So beautiful!

I love all of the horse and carriages that go through the park (we took a ride on one the next day...pics to come)...

While we were relaxing at "The Mall", we listened to this band. They were amazing...I bought their CD. They were called the Dirty Urchins...

Times Square. The pictures just don't do it justice...

The Nake Cowboy...

The M&M's store had 3 floors. Crazy...

After our carriage ride, our driver took our picture...

One of the Macy's entrances...

The Flatiron Building. I took this picture out our taxi window...

Chelsea Market was probably my favorite part of the city. We had the most amazing lunch there and the market is gorgeous!

We ate sushi, squid salad, scallop and bacon chowder and a lobster roll (we shared it all) for lunch at this unbelievable seafood market called The Lobster Place. I loved taking pictures of all of the seafood!

Our Lobster Roll...INCREDIBLE!

I have so many more pictures from Chelsea Market to post on my Part 2 NYC post tomorrow.

We are exhausted and ready to go to sleep in our own bed!

Goodnight!

It's been like a dream...

2011-12-01T22:02:00.001-05:00

Our Wi-Fi here is spotty so I am blogging from my phone. I will blog more when we get home, but to sum things up...it's been more wonderful on this trip than we even expected! Our hotel is adorable and in a PRIME location and inexpensive...I highly recommend it! We have done so much and seen so much and had the time of our lives. Sean has decided to apply for anesthesia school here and just "see what happens". Needless to say, he has fallen in love with the city. :-) I knew he would! Sean calculated how many blocks we walked yesterday. 110!!!! Uh, ya...it was kind of a mistake for us to do that. We were miserable today...sore, blisters on our feet, no fun. :-( I have bandaids on my feet and Sean and I have both taken probably way too much ibuprofen today, but we have a lot of walking on the agenda tomorrow so we are hoping that taking it easy today will help us to make it through tomorrow. Tomorrow is our last day as we need to leave for the airport by 10am Saturday...that is if we actually decide to come home at all! :-) I have been to NYC at all different times of year, but no time is better than now. Truly, it is magical here! I love this city!

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We could have missed our flight!

2011-11-28T19:14:00.002-05:00

Just looked at our itenerary for our New York trip we leave in the morning for. Um, good thing...until about 10 minutes ago, we thought our flight left from Moline at 8:30am. We had a plan of what time we'd get up and leave. The plan is changed, our flight leaves from CHICAGO at 8:30am...the first leg leaves from Moline at 6:55am. Oops! We would have been arriving at the airport as our plane took off if we hadn't checked the itenerary! Geesh...thank goodness we double checked!

Jimmy Fallon Guests...

2011-11-27T12:19:00.002-05:00

Not sure that we could have picked a better day to get tickets to Jimmy Fallon next week. I pretty much don't know who any of his guests are all week (aside from Betty White...would have been awesome to see her!), but the day that we are there the guests are....

Steve Buscemi...

and Darrel Hammond....

I know who both of them are and think they're both hilarious! I cannot wait to be there for the taping. So if you're interested in watching just in case we get on TV (ha...doubt it!), the show is on Thursday, December 1st...set your DVR's! :)

Failed

2011-11-27T02:44:00.002-05:00

I didn't even come close to my goal of running 100 miles by Thanksgiving...not even close. I think I forgot to log a few miles here and there, but regardless, it was a complete failure. Ugh. I need to join the YMCA I think. I don't know what I'm going to do when it starts snowing and it's bitter cold out. We'll see...

I think I might go do a happy dance now...

2011-11-26T17:00:00.001-05:00

I got the wedding pictures edited! It took just over a month (which I expected it may take longer) and took so much time, but I love editing...especially when it's couples that are this gorgeous! Check out several of their pictures on the Jennie Peakin Photography Blog if you'd like!

Sean is officially on vacation! He worked last night and is now off until we return from New York City!!!! Woohoo!

I checked the weather for New York City while we are there and as of now, it looks to be AMAZING!

We are going to go to the festival of trees tonight. It was so much fun when we went last year, so we're hoping we can repeat the fun this year. :)

I got an orange coat about 9 years ago when I had lost lots of weight just before I met Sean. I loved it...it's Banana Republic, cost way more than I should have spent at the time, but I loved it. So I bought it. It fit that winter and that winter only. I ended up gaining a bunch of weight back and the coat no longer fit. Ugh. I kept the coat...it's classic in style and is still "in style" I guess. I still LOVE it! I tried it on about 6 weeks ago and couldn't button it. Darn it! I tried it on again yesterday and it fit like a glove!!! Oh my goodness, I was so happy!

So I'm going to go do a happy dance now. :)

Post Thanksgiving dinner yoga...

2011-11-25T19:50:00.001-05:00

It was no joke. A serious yoga session after Thanksgiving dinner ensued at my sister's house. :)

Not sure about the poses so much, but Ayla had the facial expressions right on!!!

And then all went down hill once Brigg and his craziness joined in. He was trying to knock the balancing children over. Ha. So then a hugging/wresting match ensued...equally as entertaining if you ask me!

Oh my goodness, I love these kids!

Can't wait for Bode and Boone to be here in a few weeks for our Christmas so ALL the cousins can be together!!!

We are ready for Christmas!

2011-11-24T11:34:00.001-05:00

Our week after Thanksgiving this year will be crazy busy with much of it spent for Sean and I in New York City. We knew that if we didn't set up the Christmas tree before Thanksgiving this year, it wouldn't go up until mid December. So last night was the night! We got all the decorations out and set up and decorated the tree!

Tate was SO EXCITED! Each year we do this gets more and more fun!

He wanted to put the angel on the tree this year...

And he carried this ornament around for about 45 minutes before we were ready to start decorating the tree. He said, "I want this to be the FIRST ornament that goes on the tree and I want to hang it up all by myself!" Okay, no problem!

He took the job very seriously...

So proud...

And I have to admit, he chose an excellent first ornament!

We have trained him well! :)

Then we put the other ornaments on. This year, we didn't put all of our ornaments on. We stuck with only bulbs and a few others (like the Hawkeye ornaments we get Tate each year).

We listened to Christmas music and hung the wreath on our front door too.

We are ready for Christmas now...just in time for Thanksgiving! :)

Oh so thankful...

2011-11-24T11:13:00.002-05:00

...that God has allowed me to be this little man's mother!

Thankful

2011-11-24T10:59:00.003-05:00

We have so much to be thankful for this year. 2011 has been very good to us and we are beyond thankful for that!

We are so very thankful to have incredible family who supports us and loves us no matter what, for supportive friends who feel like family, and for the path that God has paved for us.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

More dance moves...

2011-11-23T12:02:00.002-05:00

And here is another video from yesterday. Oh my goodness, when I need my day brightened, I just need to remember to watch these videos! These 2 are hilarious!

My "after school program"

2011-11-22T17:33:00.002-05:00

This is what we do pretty much the entire time we have after preschool until James comes to pick up Ava. It's so fun and I usually am joining in on the dance party. :)

This video cracks me up...Ava is hilarious!!! I have another one that I will post in a bit that's a hair shorter, but equally as funny!

I am so mad at myself...

2011-11-20T19:47:00.003-05:00

For more reasons than 1, but here are a couple of reasons...

1. I am slacking on my running. Every spare moment I have had over the last couple of weeks has been spent editing pictures. I LOVE doing this photography gig, I do. However, I am more than ready to have the time to run, clean, do laundry, spend time with my family and run errands this winter while I have my break from shoots until the spring! I am just so disappointed in myself. I really felt that 100 miles before Thanksgiving would have been acheivable...guess in order to acheive a running goal you actually have to run regularly! Ha...imagine that! I think it's been close to 2 weeks since my feet have hit the pavement for a run. I can feel it in my energy level, my attitude and on the scale! The weightloss has slowed down over the last 2 weeks and THAT is frustrating! At least I'm not gaining and am still losing a LITTLE. I have so much more I want to lose, so I NEED to get my photos edited and make running a DAILY priority! So the goal I made is in no way going to be over close to met. Ugh...that makes me so mad!

2. I am mad that I am a blog slacker too! I love it when I get on a kick where I am blogging almost every day. I VERY regularly go back and see what we were doing this day last year or this day 2 or 3 years ago. It's so fun. I hate going back and seeing that I didn't blog for the several days surrounding "this day". Again, once the editing has been completed, I think I'll have more moments to blog...and take photographs of my OWN family! :) Speaking of...I was looking back at Christmas last year on this blog and was shocked to see the pictures of myself from Christmas last year! Wow...I think Sean and I may have to recreate the poses we did for our impromptu family pics in my parents basement last year and then post last year's compared to this years. We both look quite different than we did last year! ;)

I don't want to be COMPLETELY negative on here, so I do feel the need to also talk about a couple of things I am happy about! :)

1. We leave for New York City the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. Oh.My.Goodness we are excited!!!! So much on the agenda, I have butterflies just thinking about it. I feel so blessed that Sean and I will have this much needed getaway alone before the chaos of the holidays and the addition(s) to our family! Eeek!!!!!

2. Though I talk about how busy I am with photo shoots and editing and how time consuming it is, I am SO SO BLESSED to have the most amazingly understanding, patient and kind clients ever and the fact that I even have this many people who want me to photograph them is just such a blessing. I never dreamed this tiny little business venture would take off so quickly that in less than 2 years into it, I'd actually have to TURN AWAY some clients because I didn't have enough time slots to fit them in! Wow. It's truly amazing and exciting and wonderful! I am doing my dream job, really! I am excited to do a bit of revamping for my 2012 photoshoots and look forward to many of the changes that will hopefully make things a bit less overwhelming for me.

Meatloaf and a sleepover :)

2011-11-20T00:51:00.001-05:00

Tate had his first official sleepover on Wednesday night. He had Ava stay the night and they were both over the moon about this! They felt like such big kids! It was pretty cute. :)

They wanted to help make dinner and I had meatloaf on the menu. PERFECT! What I did was put the meat, bread crumbs and eggs in the bowl and then sat out a bunch of spices, ketchup, mustard, bbq sauce, even some soy sauce and worcestershire sauce. I got the big stepstool out and told them they could put in however much of whatever of the ingredients sitting out were. My plan was to watch closely to just make sure they didn't do anything too gross...the only thing is that I got distracted and before I knew it they said, "okay, we're done!" I looked in the bowl and honestly couldn't tell how much of what they put in. I thought I'd loaf it up and just go with it! Not before a picture of them with their creation though! :)

Turns out that we may have some budding chefs on our hands...the meatloaf was DEEEELICOUS! Too bad I don't have a recipe for it! Ha.

After dinner, they played and played, watched a movie, had a snack and went to bed. In the morning they ate a super healthy breakfast (HA!) and played to their hearts' content in their jammies before I took them to preschool. Sean and I returned to their preschool to drive them to the food pantry for the fieldtrip that was to last the second half of their day. Then, we drove through Sonic for Happy Hour and went home and the kids did some crafts with pipe cleaners and then made art! They had such a great time together and I forsee many more sleepovers like this in their futures. :)

Norrine's Bridal Shower...

2011-11-20T00:15:00.001-05:00

My mom and sister hosted a shower today for a friend of our family's. My sister has been friends with Norrine since we moved to Muscatine when she was in 7th grade and my mom became friends with Norrines mom, Cindy at the same time. Our familys hung out together all the time and have had many great times together.

Norrine is getting married in Florida in December and unfortunately we will not be able to attend the wedding, so my mom and sister wanted the shower to be extra special.

It was gorgeous.

Such a happy occassion, lots of laughs, chatting and tears (happy tears of course!).

The cake was adorable!!!

The mermaid on top...

It was definitely a hit!

The decor was beautiful with the under the sea/mermaid theme down to every detail...

My mom even drew and cut out these mermaid sillouettes to hang above the windows!

The spread was even beautiful...and yummy!

My mom and the bride...

Soon to be Sisters-in-law, Betsy and Norrine are BOTH planning their upcoming weddings (Betsy will be marrying Norrine's brother next October)!

My mom, Norrine and my sister...

We chatted and drank sangria while Norrine opened gifts, then we chatted some more. What a fun, relaxing afternoon it was!

I can't seem to control the crazy...

2011-11-15T20:56:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I recognize as I'm thinking about agreeing to something or as the words are coming out of my mouth that I will do something that I am crazy. Really, I can't control the crazy. I know that since I am a stay at home mom, many may think that there's no way I can be that busy. However, I am busier with the photography business than I have been with any job I've ever had, so that alone keeps me busy. The problem is, that I truly want to do everything that's asked of me. I really do! I am not good at saying "no", but most of the time I don't even want to say "no"!

Soooo...I am thinking about joining a cooking club. I mean, I totally want to, but it's kind of a big committment. I don't know what to do. I mean, I KNOW I should say, "no", but we'll see. ;)

What is Tate thankful for?

2011-11-15T09:53:00.001-05:00

Tate had homework last night. We were to talk with him about what it means to have a thankful heart and then ask them what they are thankful for and write it on the feather they have that will make a Turkey at preschool. Without prompting at all, Tate said with no hesitation, "I am thankful that I have clean water because lots of people don't have it." Um, seriously my heart skipped a beat...he can be so sweet! Clearly we've been talking about water lately in our house! :-)

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One step closer...

2011-11-14T16:59:00.002-05:00

We met with our licensing worker today to sign some papers that we missed during our homestudy and were told that our homestudy is being turned into DHS for approval today! Now we wait...again. We should be approved in about 45 days...I'm thinking about making a paper chain. :)

a much needed childless weekend...

2011-11-14T00:33:00.003-05:00

Sean and I had planned to have a weekend without Tate this last weekend for a while now. The weekend extended a little bit longer than originally was planned, but thanks to my super generous sister and her family, Tate had a great time staying at their house all weekend. We were disappointed with the Hawkeye loss, but I won't go there. I got to spend some time celebrating some exciting news with our amazing friends, The DeCooks and I got to see one of my dearest friends of close to 20 years (YIKES I feel old!) and her daughter who I don't get to see very often.

We had fun watching the Iowa game with friends (despite the loss) and then I even got to nap in the afternoon...WOOHOO! Then we completed our evening with several friends until the wee hours. We slept in today and I had a wonderful photoshoot with an amazing family this afternoon! Sean and I got a lot of time to talk about some serious things that are upcoming for us and had all kinds of uninterrupted time to mull over some of those things which was MUCH needed! By this morning, we were really missing Tate and couldn't wait to see him! Not sure the feeling was mutual as he had SO MUCH fun. Ha. :) It was a great weekend and we capped it off with relaxing on the couch all evening.

Sean starts a night rotation for the next month tomorrow (boo) and Tate gets his flu shot. I plan to be an editing machine this week. I HAVE to be. I need these images edited before we leave for NYC and that date is sneaking up on us...2 weeks from Tuesday!

I have not picked up my camera forever (aside from photoshoots) and so my posts are pictureless...sorry. I'll try to work on that!

Art Auction for WATER...

2011-11-10T19:38:00.003-05:00

Check out this post to learn about all of this wonderful art you can bid on to raise money for clean water! I even contributed a couple of pictures that aren't posted yet as I JUST got them in the mail. Last minute...story of my life! :)

Could it be?!!!

2011-11-09T02:27:00.001-05:00

I wrote this 4 years ago today after being given the amazing blessing of being able to watch my gorgeous niece, Ayla Lyn come into this world.

I cannot believe that was 4 years ago!

Oh how I love this little, spunky, beautiful girl...so so much.

Happy 4th Birthday, Ayla!!!

thoughts from a tired mama who feels so blessed...

2011-11-08T01:59:00.004-05:00

So at 5am, Sean's phone rings saying there's low census and he doesn't need to go to work today. He's on call, but 2nd on the list. He goes back to sleep. Then, at 6:45am his phone rings again and it's his work saying there was a "miscommunication" and he actually shouldn't have been called off work in the first place, so he needs to come in. The great part about that is that since the "miscommunication" occurred, he technically got called in. When he gets called in, he gets paid time and a half...sweet! 17 hours later, he came home from work. Yikes...it was a looooong shift. I am thrilled at the fact that there was a "miscommunication" though! :)

So that was Sean's day.

Mine? Well, mine consisted of volunteering in Tate's classroom and editing. That's pretty much it. I was an editing maniac today! My eyes are blurry from staring that the computer screen, but I am happy to say that every last image outside of the wedding is edited! I will be shooting my last portraits of the year on Sunday! It is going to be glorious to have a bit of a break from the editing. I mean, aside from the wedding that I still have lots of editing to do on. I am praying the wedding edits will be complete by the time we leave for NYC...that's my goal.

I got a card in the mail today from a dear friend. I love mail. And this was just a simple little card that totally made my day! Loved it...love her. :)

I am feeling blessed with all of our friends as of late. We miss our time with the DeCook family. Summer was great...they're both teachers so it allowed for lots of free time to get together. :) However, reality has to set in at some point and it definitely has. We will be spending Wednesday evening with them at their house for dinner and I am so looking forward to it. Also, I got to talk on the phone to a precious friend tonight who I've known for what seems like my whole life. It was a much needed conversation that left me feeling so good. And then we have a fun day planned with another couple of new friends who feel like old friends this weekend!

Also, I found some dirt cheap (for reals!) plane tickets to Florida for a Monday-Friday in December. I want to purchase them so Tate and I can go down there. Problem is, Sean can't go with us seeing as we would leave 2 days upon our return from NYC and he has to work. Darn work anyway! Ha. Anyway, since the trip would be during the week and I don't really want to go down alone with Tate when Chris and Brenda will be working that whole week, my mom can't go and so many of my other friends/family likely can't get time off just before Christmas for an impromptu vacation, I started creating a list in my head of stay at home moms I know that I woudn't mind spending 5 days with in Florida. :) I knew just who to ask...another new friend who feels like an old friend! I am awaiting a reply... :)

Tate will be spending the weekend in Muscatine with Cassie and family. I love my little man and will miss him, but it will be nice to have some time with Sean uninterrupted. Thank you Cassie and Paul SOOO much for keeping Tate this weekend!

So all of the above things are just making me feel so blessed tonight. Truly, I have the best family and friends (old and new!) and I am so thankful for each one of you!

keeping ourselves busy...

2011-11-06T11:33:00.002-05:00

As usual, we have a busy week ahead of us. This weekend has been fun having Brigg and Lani (and Willow) here. Mom and Dad came up last night and we all watched football and went to dinner. It was a good time.

This week I have LOTS of cake pops to make for the Wine to Water Party that is this upcoming weekend. Still unsure if we'll be able to attend the party or not. I also have a couple of photoshoots to edit (plus the wedding), am volunteering at Tate's preschool, should probably get my house back in order, have disks of my completed photoshoots to burn and mail to clients, have tons of laundry to do and clothes to put away. I am beginning to realize that this is the story of my life...jam packed weeks and weekends.

We leave for New York City in 3 weeks and 2 days upon our return from New York, a Florida trip for my mom, Tate and I is possibly in the works. If that happens, I'll have 2 weeks until Christmas upon our return from that trip. Then, the chaos of the holidays will be in full force and once that all dies down, we are praying our family will be growing by another child at the beginning of 2012. :)

I think I am trying to pack the rest of 2011 with lots of stuff to make it fly by quickly. Looking forward to what 2012 will hold.

So busy, busy, busy is the name of the game for now. :)

It was time again...

2011-11-06T01:47:00.001-04:00

I decided to give the blog a new look. I will have to live with this look for a while and then decide if I want to adjust it. Just wanted to let you know if case you check over the next week or two and notice some changes.

Accessorizing

2011-11-03T00:07:00.003-04:00

I have taken after my mother in many ways. Not sure why this came to my head, but thought I would write it down for no other reason than the fact that I haven't really written out much of a blog post lately. So here goes...

I am addicted to dishes, and serving peices and napkin rings and tablecloths. I guess, mostly entertaining items. I believe I own 5 FULL sets of dishes. It's a problem. I really go crazy at TJ Maxx, they have so many fun things. I love fun bowls and platters and aprons and dish towels too. Fun coffee mugs?! Yup, love those. Funny thing about that is that I only drink my coffee out of my Tervis Tumbler, so there's really no use for me to have more than a couple of coffee mugs to have for guests.

Also, I am addicted to accessories. Scarves, bracelets, earings, necklaces, necklaces, necklaces, shoes, more shoes, socks, hats, gloves. Love it all. The thing is, I LOVE bold, bright accessories and the problem with that is that they stand out. So if I wear the same bright, bold peice of jewelry or scarf too often, people might think, "geesh, she wears that all the time!" So that's why I need LOTS of those peices. :) Oh it's just so much fun to accessorize! I was going through my socks the other day and found 6 pairs of Halloween socks, 3 pairs of Valentine's socks, 6 pairs of Christmas socks and a million other "just for fun" socks. I mean, that is a bit out of control. In my defense (umm, sort of), I am a bit of a hoarder too...so many of these socks are about 10 years old. Ha.

Even when I wasn't feeling so great about myself, weighed more than I ever thought I would, had no energy, just felt yuck, I still think I wore some loud accessories. Guess that's just always been my style. However, as of late, I have probably amped it up a bit. I am finally starting to feel a little better about myself since some weight has come off, I think my energy inside myself is reflecting what I wear on the outside. I have been having so much fun with my new wardrobe that I've had to purchase as none of my old clothing fits anymore. A new wardrobe requires new accessories sometimes, right?! :) I am one to be thrilled with a great bargain too...don't get me wrong. I am not out there breaking the bank in order to accessorize. I wish I could though! Ha. :)

I guess the short of it is that I like to accessorize my life. I like to accessorize my tables, my home, my body, my clothing, etc.. Accessories are fun!

Back when I was 19 or 20, I got a tattoo on my foot. I won't go into detail the meaning of it (there WAS meaning to it at the time), but the meaning has faded. I hate the tattoo. Despise it. It's a yellow rose...gross. For 10 years I have said on a regular basis, "I need to do something to this tattoo to change it. I wish it wasn't there, but if I'm going to have something there, I want to love it." My incredibly talented friend from way back in highschool is a tattoo artist here in the Quad Cities. He is super talented and I know I can be a baby (I mean, a tattoo on your foot hurts!) around him and not feel embarrassed. I've known for years that he tattoos and knew I wouldn't want anyone else to redo my tattoo except him. We hadn't spoken in almost 10 years and I was thrilled to reconnect with him via Facebook a couple of weeks ago. So tomorrow is the day. I will finally be getting my tattoo on my foot fixed/added to so that I don't cringe every time I look down at it. :) I am soooo excited! I met with him last week and showed him my "inspiration" of what I am kind of wanting, but trust him to draw his interperatation of it. It will be colorful (shocker right?!) and I can't wait to have this "permanent accessory".

See? I love to accessorize! Oh, and the wanting a colorful tattoo thing...that's one thing that ISN'T something I take after my mom! :)

National Adoption Month...

2011-11-01T11:17:00.002-04:00

November is National Adoption Month. Adoption has blessed and changed our lives and hearts in ways we never dreamed. Read our adoption story and why we have an open adoption HERE if you haven't already.

Progress...

2011-11-01T10:37:00.001-04:00

I forgot to post this when I got the chairs done last week. Our table isn't done yet, but we LOVE the chairs! The brown paint on the top is chalkboard paint. That way we can put little messages like "Happy Birthday" on them or even just our names. When nothing is written on them though, we think the brown still looks nice. :-)

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Trick or Treating 2011

2011-10-30T21:18:00.001-04:00

Tonight was Beggar's Night here in Davenport.

Tonight gave me reason #567 why I love love love our neighborhood. It is a great trick or treating neighborhood! The kids had a blast!

We had Iron Man...

Snow White...

Ariel, the Little Mermaid...

Iron Man and The Little Mermaid make a cute couple if I do say so myself!

So cute!

The kids had a BLAST and got way too much candy!

We will hit the parade tomorrow and then it's already going to be November! Yikes!

Lani turns 8!

2011-10-28T10:59:00.004-04:00

This girl is amazing!

She turned 8 today. She is the sweetest girl I know. Really. It's incredible how big her heart is!

She was genuinely thrilled with every single gift she got...

We went to Incredible Pizza to celebrate. It was so much fun!

Tate enjoyed the cake...shocker...

And the horse cake (unicorn actually) was a hit. Lani is in love with horses...we have that in common. :) She is PASSIONATE about them which I love so much about her!

She requested this peice of her cake. :)

Happy Birthday, Lani Lou! We love you so much sweet girl!

Tate's Preschool Halloween Party

2011-10-28T10:45:00.005-04:00

Tate and Ava had their Halloween party at preschool today. Sean and I went to join in the fun. And it was so fun to watch!

Tate dawned his Captain America costume in full, but the mask and shield were quick to go upon arrival at preschool. I managed to get a picture of him in full Captain America gear. I could be biased, but I think he might be the cutest Captain America I've ever seen!

The kids were so excited about the party!

There were games and treats and balloons...

And I have to say that I love his class...these kids are amazing. Really, there are some incredibly great kids in his class!

The kids were all so adorable in their costumes and all had so much fun!

almost done!

2011-10-25T23:30:00.002-04:00

I have to give another shout out to my dear friend, Leslie. She pulled through again and helped me (almost) finish my chairs I am refinishing for our new dining room set! They are looking AWESOME! I am so so excited to see the finished product in our dining room. It is turning out exactly as I had hoped!

Leslie came over tonight at 8pm and helped me complete the painting of the chairs, loned me her staple gun to complete the covering of the seats and drank wine and chatted with me.

So thank you, Leslie...really, I am so happy to have had your help getting this project done, but have enjoyed our time chatting and drinking wine uninterrupted even more!

on Tate not having a filter...

2011-10-25T09:56:00.002-04:00

You know how kids have no filter? What I mean is, they say just what they are thinking. Well, I have been told that I don't have a filter either sometimes. I mean, I just think I am kind of an open book. So the fact that Tate sees my filterless banter along with the fact that he's just a five year old make the things that come out of his mouth oftentimes inappropriate. An example...

Sean and Tate were in the elevator at the hotel this weekend when a bunch of people start piling into it, making everyone fairly squished in that small space. A rather large woman happened to be right in front of Tate and with his height compared to hers, his face happened to be directly in front of her backside. Tate blurts out (in a silent elevator), "she has a big bum!" Apparently Sean covered his mouth the first time because he said he knew what was coming. So Tate pulls away from Sean's attempt to cover his words and repeats himself so Sean can here, "SHE HAS A BIG BUM!"

Nice.

There was a similar story to this that happened with him while we were on our way down to Florida this summer and stopped at a gas station. We were picking out a beverage from the fridge when a little person came up next to us. I knew before any words could come out of Tate's mouth that he was going to say something.

So ya, this is something we need to work on with him.

The wedding...

2011-10-23T23:57:00.001-04:00

I have been stressed and worried about this wedding I photographed for MONTHS! I honestly LOVE this couple...they are amazing and gave me absolutely no reason to be stressed. I think that's why I was so stressed. I wanted to do a really really good job for them. I was very up front and honest with them about my worries and what I felt I was capable of doing. They were incredible...incredible I tell you. I woke up this morning after the stress of trying to get all the important shots yesterday and truly felt like a new woman. Oh my goodness, I don't even think I realized how stressed I was about this until this morning when I didn't have that looming stress anymore! It was such a fun day...I did love it! So because I've talked about the wedding so much in previous posts, I thought I'd share some of the images I have edited so far with you all...

This was during their "first look". Starting from the left, the first 2 images were taken before they saw each other that day and the 3rd image was literally their first look at each other. I was crying...like crying hard...not sure that was terribly professional, but I couldn't help it!

Their gigantic wedding party was so much fun! They were all so cooperative and game for whatever!

Are they not about the most gorgeous couple you've ever seen?!!!

Geesh!

And speaking of gorgeous...their wedding party was one of the most beautiful wedding parties I've ever seen!

And with the gorgeous couple and gorgeous wedding party, they just had to add in a gorgeous church too! It was breathtaking...

Jake and Jessie's day went off without a hitch! I can't think of anything that could have make it more perfect!

I was so honored that they trusted me to photograph their day for them. I have a whole new respect for wedding photographers...it is HARD work! Wow! It is also so rewarding to see these images and know they are images that this couple will have for a lifetime.

Congratulations Jake and Jessie!!!

women with power tools...

2011-10-19T23:18:00.001-04:00

A few days ago, I blogged about how we had a table to refinish (amongst a million other things) HERE.

Literally moments later, my amazing friend Leslie sent me an email that read...

"Hey! Just read your blog. Let's get your table done! I can come over any night after I put the kids to bed. What do you think? It'd be fun! I'll ride my bike and we can drink! Ha!"

(hope you don't mind me sharing your email Leslie!)

Ummmm, OKAY! Really, how amazing is she?! So sweet of her! And she was good on her word, she road her bike over tonight (because she lives just a few short blocks away!), drank wine with me and we chatted in the garage for a couple of hours while we got the sanding of my chairs done! She also helped me decide on the fabric to upholster the seats with and pick the paint color! It was so much fun!

I made the decision to purchase an electric sander for this project...best $20 ever spent! It was amazing! We did a good job sharing the power tool, but I think both Leslie and I really loved using it! :)

And then we had to get a picture of us together, so I set my timer. It was hilarious and didn't work great, but at least we were able to document that I was there too!

We chatted a lot, laughed a lot and got a lot done! Thank you so so much, Leslie. Really, I never would have gotten this done without you pushing me!

Little Supers

2011-10-18T23:29:00.001-04:00

Ava and Tate played Super Heroes after preschool today.

These pictures make me so happy!

They had a contest to see who could jump the highest...

Super Heroes can still hug though!

Then Lora and Chloe showed up to pick up Ava.
Love this little sweeties beautiful face!

Peakin Family Update

2011-10-18T11:15:00.003-04:00

Okay, so I thought I'd better just do a post about what's going on...

My Running...it's going, but not well. I hate to be a downer, but there is no way I am meeting my goal of '100 miles before Thanksgiving'...no way. Maybe I need to extend it to Christmas! Ugh. Oh well. I am still proud of myself for running on a regular basis. :)

The Holidays!...EEK! We are in the midst of holiday planning. I mean, scheduling which family we're going to be with when and where for Thanksgiving and then just thinking about and throwing ideas around about Christmas. Really?! I mean, it feels like summer just started!

Adoption...November is National Adoption Month, so I was thinking about doing some adoption related posts throughout the month. I could talk about adoption all day long! :) We are just waiting at this point...waiting, waiting, waiting. Ugh. So nothing too new to report on this front.

Jennie Peakin Photography...I am working on the possible changes for Jennie Peakin Photography in 2012. The business is growing way faster than I had ever expected and I am thrilled about it, but also SWAMPED! I have my first (and as I mentioned multiple times, my ONLY) wedding this weekend. Seriously, I am totally nervous. Ugh. I just want to get amazing images for this amazing bride and groom. Yikes...it's such a huge responsibility! I feel like every spare moment at home is spent editing. This week I am really trying to get all of my shoots from the last couple of weeks completed...however, I have accepted the fact that I'm just not going to be able to get them all done. There are just not enough hours in the day. I just posted some sneak peeks on my photography blog HERE.

Sean...he is back on his day rotation. This makes me sooo happy! I have him home with me every night. I hate it when he is working nights and Tate and I are alone each night while we sleep. I don't like that at all.

Tate...Still loving preschool, still as ornery as ever. :) He is just too funny. He makes me so frustrated and then the can melt my heart the next second. The other day, we were opening fortune cookies and I opened his and he said, "what does it say?!" I said (wide eyed), "it says 'you have the BEST mommy and daddy ever!" He got wide eyed then gave a sweet smile and looked at us both and said, "I love you two." Ummmm, melt my heart. Then a few minutes later, he might have been hitting me and talking back. Ha. :) Ya, he started hitting in the last few weeks. Talk about frustrating!!! Who STARTS hitting at age 5?! He's never been a hitter, so I'm not sure where this has come from. It's not something he does often, but he's hit me a couple of times and Sean a few times as well.

Coming up for us...TONS. I mean, we are busy busy! Aside from photoshoots, volunteering at preschool, doing peoples' hair, Sean working and my editing, we are trying to fit in some things with friends. I have to carefully plan in morning coffee with friends and playdates. We will be having a family over for dinner next week that is from our PS-MAPP class. We spent 10 weeks with these families and we miss seeing them each week! We have a table to refinish...still. I would like that to get done before the weather gets too cold...again, not sure how realistic that is. In a couple of weeks, we get Brigg and Lani for the weekend while Cassie and Paul take Ayla to Chicago for her birthday, so that'll be fun! We are going to another Hawkeye game in a few weeks and then we're going to be almost at Thanksgiving, followed by New York City!!!

So there's your Peakin Family Update. :) I am sure I missed a few things in there, but I have to get back to editing pictures now...

Oops...

2011-10-16T22:33:00.001-04:00

...I can't believe I forgot to post this picture!

I am so unbelievably blessed to have such an amazing sister who I can go to for anything and KNOW I will get her true opinion and feelings. :) A sister I can laugh with, cry with and just enjoy being with! Thanks Cassie (and Paul and the Burback clan!) for inviting Sean and I along for your annual game this year...it was A BLAST!!!!

Iowa vs. Northwestern Game

2011-10-16T17:44:00.001-04:00

We had SUCH a fantastic time tailgating before the Iowa vs. Northwestern game! We didn't have tickets, but before we were even out of our car from parking at our tailgating spot, Paul came up to the window and said, "these people next to us have 2 tickets for sale." YAY! So we bought our tickets and they were cheap! We were so excited! We were afraid because of what game it was, we would have to pay more than usual. We were thrilled to not have had to.

We tailgated all day long. We got there in the morning and the game didn't start until 6pm.

Here was our crew...

We played a Bag-O tournament...

Luke told stories...

We got time with our spouses WITHOUT the kids...glorious!

And there was a flabongo...oh yes, there was...

The Burback kids...

There was LOTS of laughing...LOTS...

The Burback Sisters...

Luke told more stories...

There was more laughing...

Paul with his brothers-in-law...

There was more laughing...

Luke told some more stories...

And no, I didn't marry a 21 year old. He just thought he was. He was kind of a flabongo professional which baffles me as I've never seen him do one before Saturday!

And then there was the game.

It.Was.Awesome!

The card stunts were amazing, the striped stadium was so cool to see, the night game atmosphere was exciting and the WIN was the best part!!!

I love being a Hawkeye!

Go Hawkeyes!

2011-10-15T14:38:00.001-04:00

We are in Iowa City tailgating and having such a great time! Great weather, great company, great atmosphere...you just can't beat it! Go Hawkeyes!

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Overwhelmed, but still loving this job!

2011-10-11T23:34:00.004-04:00

I just got my calendar for the rest of October and the first half of November done. I am beginning to enter "panic mode". I have photoshoots galore, am buried in editing (which I love...don't get me wrong!) and have a wedding to photograph in just over a week! Yikes...I was hoping to have all of my editing for sessions taken before the wedding completed before the wedding. Not going to happen. For real. There just isn't enough hours in the day. And I only have 2 TIMESLOTS available for sessions this year!!!

Come January, the business is getting a bit of a revamping, I am seriously considering making a large investment in some much needed, better equipment that will help me produce much better images and hopefully make my editing process a bit easier and quicker. I am restructuring some thing including price (hopefully nothing so drastic that it will scare my clients off!) to account for the better quality images my clients will be receiving and also to account for the fact that they are getting a much more experienced photographer than when I started. Lastly, I am CONSIDERING possibly starting to sell prints! Eek. Not sure about that yet. Hopefully these changes will go over well. :)

All in all, I am way busier with this photography gig than I ever thought I would be when I started out. This makes me so thrilled! And honestly...I am in love with doing it. Seriously, I have yet to meet a family or child that I haven't thoroughly enjoyed photographing...it's actually kind of unbelievable the incredible people I have had the honor to meet and photograph! Wow, this job is STILL my dream job and now I cannot imagine why I waited so long to do it and can't imagine ever doing anything different! It brings me so much joy...and stress. Ha! My plan for the revamping of Jennie Peakin Photography in 2012 will hopefully decrease the stress level though! We shall see!

I am at the height of my stress at this point in regards to Jennie Peakin Photography though. I am getting emails left and right and for the first time am having to turn people away! Ugh. You all know how good I am at saying, "no"...not good at all! It is absolutely necessary though. That doesn't change the fact that I HATE saying it! In addition to the stress that saying, "no" causes me, I am totally nervous (yet still excited!) to shoot my first wedding (and ONLY WEDDING I will EVER do!) on the 22nd. I'm praying for perfect, cloudy skies and NO RAIN! :) Ha. We'll see how that goes! I am going to feel so incredibly releived once that weekend is over and I know I got good shots for the couple...I PRAY I get good shots for them! It's just such a huge responsibility that I'm honored they are trusting me with when they know I've never done a wedding before. Wow...they are a pretty amazing couple! I will take huge sigh of relief once I sit down with the images on my computer and can start to edit them. :)

My plan is to have ALL 2011 sessions (including the wedding) edited, on disks and mailed to all of my clients by Thanksgiving! All that PLUS I was hoping to run 100 miles by then?!! Ha! It's looking as though I'll be lucky to make it to 50 miles by then! Darn it! Oh well...I'm not giving up yet...maybe I'll change it to "100 Miles by Christmas". :)

Because they're our friends...

2011-10-10T22:19:00.001-04:00

...you get a sneak peek of The Klipsch's family photo shoot on my personal blog. :)

I will save the words for when I post on the business blog, but had to share the beauty of these images which I think speaks louder than any words could...

You wouldn't believe what a score it was to find this PERFECT graffiti! Jake even asked me, "did you come paint this before our shoot just for us?" Ha. It was that perfect, you would've thought I had!

And yes, each one of these people is just as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside...an incredible family for sure!